Saturday, March 17, 2012
I believe the general consensus here in the Comments section and in personal conversations regarding the post a couple of weeks ago about taking Bennett out and about and having a 'Familial Style Outing' (the 'beating-myself-up-over-it' part not withstanding) is that it might be prudent, certainly, to give it a whirl.
Regarding this I cannot disagree. My Momma din't raise no dummy.
Beyond my personal fear, which I can overcome, this is not about misgivings regarding what 'people might think'. I'm the guy who has talked about having purple balls in a company meeting. I'm the guy who blogs about pretty much every inappropriate topic in the known universe. Would you like to know what my official position is about the what people think about me? In general terms?
I don't give a shit.
That doesn't surprise you, right?
Clarification. I care about what people I CARE ABOUT think about me. But strangers or asshats? They can go F-, um, they can go take a flying leap. Life is too short. Granted, I was not always this way. Back in the day, especially when I was involved in Message Board shenanigans a lot in the toy industry, I let stuff get to me. Not so much anymore.
What is most interesting is that lately, especially over the past, say, two months, this way of feeling about My Life and many others has been...evolving. Ask several of my key friends. Well, you can't, so you will just have to trust me, but something has been...morphing, changing, growing, I don't know what you might call it, but things are definitely different.
Guess I am having a growth spurt. OR, as I said to Heather recently...perhaps finally, after several years of trial and error, I may have at last hit the proper stride in life when it comes to understanding the key role nutrition plays in my body. She stresses exercise in tandem, and rightfully so, and HOLY CRAP I want it in a bad, bad way.
Can't right now though. I'll explain all THAT junk in a separate blog about what exactly is happening to my torso/spine. I have a really solid theory about it since my hospital stay and new evidence has been emerging.
In regards to the Bennett outings, it should be stressed that fear is not the main factor when it comes to taking Bennett out in a high density public situation.
I get where people are coming from overall, about just doing it, about not holding Bennett back from anything, but my main concern is truthfully one of liability. We live in a litigious society, and even if Bennett were to initiate some action that was in no way overly egregious, I have some...reservations about how it could possibly go down.
SO...I just need a plan for that, some kind of contingency to possibly block contact if I can if I get any kind of Spidey Sense flare-up.
Example time. I took Bennett to a Speech Therapy appointment on Monday. This was the first time I have taken him out to this place with his iPad since I took over that particular run. I did not know that Jen used to wait until the very last minute to go in. I went in when we got there.
It turned ugly real fast. The other kids swarmed him like zombies. They were fascinated by the iPad. He wanted to touch their heads, grab their hair, but because they were crowding them, that grabbing of the hair quickly became pulling of the hair, which he often does. His signals get confused or something. Or he digs his nails in. We haven't figured out yet how to stop him from doing it.
So I can't get the other parents to help me pull the other kids away, either because they don't see Bennett and look at him and think 'severely disabled' when they see him, or because they were just moronic themselves. I certainly don't blame the kids for getting upset that Bennett was grabbing at their faces. I had to wedge myself in between everything because the kids were certainly not listening to me when I was asking them to give Bennett space, and then after a while since they were in his, he naturally started to over-violate theirs.
Eventually Bennett gets out of harm's way in the zombie-crowd but then started turning the lights off and getting into other people's grille's as well. I tried to keep him contained as best I could. He shouted and contorted and ripped my back and abdomen to shreds with every thrust.
So yeah...I need a better plan, a better system. Because that was not working at all. For one I will have to have full strength as far as physical health, and it would not hurt to have a partner there certainly. I also have to have an 'OUT'. That was an appointment, something I could not walk away from. So I understand now why Jen waited until the last minute to walk in. Were it just for funsies I could have gone outside with Bennett. Taken him somewhere else. I do realize that.
This learning curve is steep sometimes.