Wednesday, June 27, 2012

What Would YOU Do?!?


So you feel a little tired. A little run down on a super hot, overly humid summer afternoon.

You aren't taking any of the old meds you used to take that had, shall we say, stimulative qualities. And that's a GOOD thing. But you find that afternoon hump just a WEE bit tougher to get over, so you think to yourself...'Self, why not enjoy a nice, steaming cup of fresh Espresso from your handy dandy Nespresso machine?'


You haven't used it in a while, but it has only been a few weeks and so you turn it on and get the cup into its place, pop in a little nodule or whatever they call those little things, and wait for the light to stop blinking so that you can fire that hot water down the chute and create that much-needed pick-me-up.

When the water fires, it hesitates...sputters for a second. Very weird. And then, from out of this little hole where the Espresso generally flows, out fall two Earwigs into your tiny mug.


Earwigs, in case you don't know, are a fairly common household bug. They are EVERYWHERE this year, as are spiders the size of my foot, since the winter was the mildest it has been in decades.

These bugs come out of the machine and plop into the Espresso cup.They are alive, though not for long...that water is FUGGIN' HOT.

You stand there in, well, a state of disbelief. Wondering 'WTF' else in your world related to technology is going to give you something to cringe about. But then you have a decision to make.

You stare at these things that look...other-worldly and disgusting.


You can clean the hell out of the machine, you can run that packet through, some bleach, open up all the areas that you have access to, and really scrub it. But can you actually, after all that cleaning is done, fire up the machine and run it and have a cup of Espresso? Knowing what just came out?

I know one person who would be as skeeved as I was/am about it. She writes a great blog and hates germy shit a lot.

But could YOU do it?

I couldn't. And haven't been able to bring myself to use it, since the incident, which occurred last week. So what...do I have to get a new machine or do I figure out how to get over it?

Let the 'PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA' begin! WOO-HOO!

OUT.

19 comments:

  1. I am completely and utterly NOT germ-phobic so I'd definitely run it once or twice and then use it. No problemo.

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  2. I'm with Elizabeth: Clean it, use it, survive the first cup and never think about it again.

    But that's me. Maybe it's odd, but I'm pretty comfy with the fact that most restaurants that serve me and the factories where much of my food is made are downright feculent. That which doesn't kill us...

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  3. I'll be honest, that would have gave me the creeps. Then I would have made my hubby clean it out, as I do all truly disgusting things that I just can't handle without gagging (payback for all the dirty diapers I change while he's at work). Then I would be fine with it.

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  4. Yeah, I would use it. I would run hot water through a few times - that way any part of the machine my coffee is going to come out will be clean and then I would use it without a problem.

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  5. Tough call...when stuff like that happened in childhood, I would have a sibling use cup/utensil/whatever after the cleaning. then if they didn't die/be converted into a bug...I would use it.(after it sat in bleach for at least 6 days and had been blessed with holy water)

    Our house is currently under siege by a platoon of faster then shit spiders. I can't find there spawn point. Would gladly trade you for the pokey slow earwigs.

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  6. Hey I've got those Mediterranean jumping spiders too and they are driving me crazy. But its the larger breeds that are really kicking my ass, since a lot of the work I do is in the basement.

    I have to take special precautions when fishing around in any boxes of loose bagged toys down there. Those fuckers get spooked when cornered and having been bit once I vowed never again.

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  7. Oh and to the rest of you, except Heather (and Elaine if she ever happens to read this), I will probably use it again. I just have to clean it at least 6 more times. MAYBE 7.

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  8. At least you were watching....it could have been worse...like discovering them half way through your nice drink.

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  9. I swear this could only happen to you. I think I would use it again after cleaning it.. a lot. But after the first cup I would probably be ok. As for bugs, we are now getting lots of scorpions in the house. Not cool with three 3 year olds. Not sure I would trade you for the spiders though. At least scorpions aren't that fast.

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  10. No. I would throw it away and buy a new one. Seriously. EWWWWW. Though like Kim, I am relatively comfortable with knowing that not all restaurants are that clean. Apparently if I can't see it I am fine.

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  11. I guess the trippy thing is...what were TWO of them doing up in that hole, know what I mean? I can't get the skeevy thought of Earwig afternoon delight being splatted into my afternoon delight.

    And Kevin, these Spiders, I gotta get a photo of one of the bigger ones. I thought it was a mouse at first. The winter did not kill off the stock and they have just been growing. Pretty soon I might have to just date one.

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  12. Um. That is uber disgusting (and I have seen bodies). Ken, you absolutely have to clean the outside of that thing and put it on EBay as "gently used". The device is clearly cursed and is one clown sticker away from a poltergeist. Maybe the house is telling you something? You house isn’t build on an old Indian burial ground is it?

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  13. LOL, no I don't think so. But I do wonder who the cheesy old preacher is with the toothy grin who keeps knocking on the front door.

    I want to write about YOU though. I want to be your personal biographer.

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  14. ...AND another thing:
    Why should "The Pussification of America" be considered a BAD thing?
    1. We've all been there.
    2. About half the world's population spends a lot of time trying to get BACK in there.
    3. They're remarkably flexible and durable...

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  15. I would sterilize it and use it. Bugs are everywhere. So I clean and hope for the best and if I fail, I get bug protein in my food. Meh - I've had chocolate covered crickets and while not my thing, I didn't die or get explosive diarrhea or anything.

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  16. I would check the window for holes to see if perhaps an assassin droid slipped them in while my artoo unit was caught nappin'

    Actually I would kill the bugs and drink the espresso. nothing comes between me and the love of the coffee bean.

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  17. Ewwwwww...that lovely piece of kitchen clutter would have been in the dumpster without even a thought of a cleaning for me.

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  18. Of course I read your blog...religiously. Just never comment. Just so you know, my germaphobia has dramatically decreased when Sophie went through the licking everything in public phase and didn't die ;)

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