Friday, October 5, 2012
And Just Like That
You have to go home.
I've spent the last week visiting my Mom at her home in Arkansas. Jen, since she had the week off, was able to be the designated driver for Bennett for his therapy stuff, so she took care of all of that in Ohio and it freed me up to visit my family. It sucks that we often have to do things this way, but when you have a kid with a disability, you often have to do things this way.
But frankly, I needed the break. Things haven't been all that easy back home of late, and I don't expect them to have become any easier in my short time away. All the things that I may have hinted at or even talked about at length all seem to be headed to a convergence, in this upcoming Fall/Winter, and the pressure is enormous.
Not to mention that there has been and seemingly always will be the Bennett Factor.
How do we gain control of his raging behaviors, before they gain control of us? That, to me, is the key to EVERYTHING. Solve that? The rest might just be manageable.
A couple of weeks back Jen was taking Carter and Bennett somewhere and when Carter realized Bennett was coming with them he said "Aw MAN, Bennett's coming? He ruin's everything!"
I can't BLAME Carter for saying this, or even for feeling it, because it is often 100% on the money. Having Bennett along is often like having Bruce Banner for your best friend.
Sometimes you don't know WHO is showing up to your party, know what I mean?
But I want to believe that it isn't going to be like this forever. Because the alternative is just...well, I don't like thinking of any of the alternatives, especially when Bennett becomes extremely uncontrollable, and I start projecting years down the road. No need to go there yet.
Tonight, I fly back home, and while it has been great to see my Mom, and while I don't want to say goodbye, I have missed my boys and my wife, no doubt there. And my job now is to figure out how best to take this past week of R & R and determine how to use it to serve them best, to help all of us weather the months ahead, because they are no doubt going to be some of the more difficult ones we have faced to date since the post-surgical times.
The good news is that it is Fall, which means cooler temperatures...PERFECT timing to get out the Big Boy Pants.