Maybe I ought to start having a warning label for content when I get into the really foul moods. So I made this one up. Nifty, huh? Yeah, fuck it.
Well, it's Friday night. Around 7:00. Carter is spending the night at his grandparents house, Jen is working trying to make up some lost hours, Bennett is sleeping off a particularly brutal set of seizures, and I am just taking a break from some work of my own.
Been hammered all week on some stuff, gonna get even more hammer time next week. My job is getting super busy. That's good, I prefer being busy to having my thumb up my ass, I just gotta figure out how to manage certain aspects of it somehow. I have two pages to go tonight on some notes and then I'm done for today. Yay for me.
But just thought I'd share how my weekend got started, even though both Jen and I have a ton of work we took a break around 5:45 and played with Bennett for a while as we contemplated what to have for dinner. But then he started having these....
Yeah...pretty much gonna have to declare Vigabatrin another FUCKING failed medication. Max dose and we've been on it weeks now. Still severe, still frequent. This was around 6:00 PM tonight, July 10th. Christ...takes the wind right out of your sails doesn't it? I mean...LOOK at that shit.
You poor, poor kid. But that was but a taste, I stopped the camera cause I wanted to try and hold him and possibly settle him, but he was far too agitated for this set and he was kind of pushing me away while at the same time seeming very distressed.
Here's another snippet from the same set.
Lasted in total around 11 minutes. Very shitty. Very hard to watch. I hate this thing with a mother fucking passion, what do you think of that? Don't like the language? Bite me.
Also, I just realized that not only did I forget to eat lunch, but our 'What's For Dinner' conversation took a back seat to Seizure Central, and now it is around 7:00 and I have not eaten. Feeling kinda tingly and lightheaded. Cool.
But...I am going to take some advice from a total stranger. I am going to think about ONE thing today that was positive, that made me happy, and write it down. I need to come up with a catchy name. A Smile Snippet? Nah that sucks...I'll come up with something later, my brain is fried from production notes.
OK...hmmm, lemme see. What made me happy today? Now mind you, Bennett had a doc appointment today I could not attend, I had too much to do, and I hate missing his appointments. He has a fucking virus, has some freakish name and hence spots of a rash all over him. And you know what a virus means, right kids?
Seizing like a banshee...not talkative, not playful. Pretty miserable.
Carter is gone for tonight, barely saw him today...but OK, Carter left Day Care Pre-School early today and went to the movies with his Mee-Maw and Pa-Paw and his cousin, and this was the first time he sat through the ENTIRE movie. Ice Age 3 I believe.
And? he loved it. So there you go, there's my positive thought for the day. Tony Robbins can SUCK IT!
That's it...it's my Tony Tidbit! That's what I'll call it. How's THAT for positive thinking, bitches! Nah...hate that name too. Ah fuck it.
I'll think of something when I am less mushy in the melon.
But I was happy to hear he had such a good time there. I'm happy for him. His birthday is Sunday. 5 years old. Wow.
I need to eat, seriously. Bye.