I am a total pussy when it comes to being on duty by myself in this hospital room. My claustrophobia kind of gets to me a bit, the blood pressure is probably very high and the anxiety is...well, let's just say I am crunching Xanax like they are M&M's. I'll need to talk to my doc when I get back about why I burned through this month's supply so fast.
I don't know why I feel such abject terror having Bennett in my care by myself. I think I must feel like I am going to do something bad, or stupid. I dunno...it isn't usually an issue at the house, but hell it is a HUGE problem for me in a hospital room. In fact, so much so I've actually never done it alone before. Tonight...this is my first time. It's only 3:15 PM and already I feel like the walls are closing in.
Jen is back at the hotel, resting, she will be back this evening for a little while but she will be returning to the hotel to sleep overnight, and I will be here with Bennett.
Rounds today...no new info. The doc suggested that we wouldn't be discharged until Monday at the EARLIEST, because it is so hard for them to see any focalization in the EEG. This was a sub doctor, not anyone who really would have any info for us anyway since Dr. Lachhwani was not here today. But apparently some expert is supposed to review on Monday all the EEG data collected FRI-SAT-SUN with Dr. Lachhwani and make further determinations.
I just want to be sure it is Monday when we get out of here. We don't want to see this stretch on and on. We have work, another kid, and such. Not that we aren't prepared to do what we need to do, I just want to KNOW what we need to do. We need to be able to make preparations and junk.
Bottom line is hospitals suck, period. We want our answers and we also want to take Bennett out of here.
I will say this about Cleveland Clinic. Some friggin' BEAUTIFUL artwork in this place. I could, if time permitted, get lost in every hall looking at the great art they have selected on the walls. It's part museum in a way. Great stuff.
Anyway, some pics of the experience.