I'm guessing maybe we'd be getting out of the hospital around the 5th, maybe the 7th, not entirely sure. There isn't any way to know that exactly.
Now it is just a matter of getting some stuff ready, trying to manage all of our life stuff and plan to go in and have this thing done.
I'm having a VERY hard time finding anything meaningful to say, it's the oddest thing. As great as it is to have a surgery scheduled, someone in a few weeks is going to be sawing my son's skull apart and removing it. That's hard to wrap my own head around. Also, work is...well, a lot is happening, a lot...how in the world do I manage it while all this is going on? Or Jen with hers? She's wiped ALL her vacation time, no more paid days off, all FMLA only. We are both stretched about as thin emotionally as two people can be.
Don't get me wrong, I'm relieved that we are doing this even though it doesn't mean he is guaranteed a cure and of course there is a mortality risk and a stroke risk and all kinds of other risks, and I am horrified over what they might find in there now that they think he has a tumor.
Bennett's seizures are the strongest they have ever been and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight with medicine. It's just frankly the greatest burden I have ever known, I'm a fucking mess of a human being right now and am about as close to the edge of the abyss as it gets. All I can do is keep duct taping up my mind every morning and hoping it stays held together.
That's all I got today. Thanks for the comments, sorry I have not had time to really reply to anybody for a while. Just too busy.
Gotta see the doc though, and soon. My mind is in a very weird place, and I am used to weird places, so this place is EXCEPTIONALLY weird.