The First Snag
So we need to head up tomorrow to the Cleveland Clinic to get our boy some of that awesome Brain Surgery. In order to get a room at the nearby Ronald McDonald House, you have to call at 2:00PM the day before you need the room and try to get the room. No reservations. It's a shitty system, but I get why it's there.
So, my first fuck up of the week. And it's early, I expect many more. I forget to call at 2:00PM. I call at 2:50PM when Jennifer reminds me. No rooms. Wait list. Can't really say when a room is gonna open up, but they have our info and we call tomorrow and ask if one opened up, meantime probably gonna have to pay a nice chunk of change to go back to the same hotel we were at before. Wait list was 'fairly substantial', says the pleasant sounding woman on the other end of the phone.
I am a very peculiar person. I like to have order in my life. Especially when it comes to going somewhere. I want to get there and unpack, and make that place my little 'cave' for the duration. Make it feel like 'home'. Shit, I take stuff I DO NOT EVEN NEED just so that I can set it around the area so it feels more familiar.
Call it an OCD thing, call it whatever you want. But now? Now that I have to pack the car, then unpack it at a hotel, stay in said hotel but not unpack any of my stuff and essentially wait until we get 'IN' to the RMH, for me, that's a big deal.
I like plans...I hate uncertainty.
Hey, I've got some issues, what can I say?
Though it is ironic that uncertainty and inability to really make definitive plans applies to every aspect of my life right now and it is driving me fucking crazy, cause it SO goes against how I am constructed as a human being. Bennett, home life, job, my health...everything just swirling around in the air, it's frustrating as shit.
This RMH thing? Par for the course. The old me, the one that had a firmer footing on order, would NEVER HAVE FORGOTTEN TO CALL at 2:00PM. NEVER. The new me? The one with the clenched teeth, throwing all kinds of shit in the air while trying not to come apart? He forgets that call because he's too busy trying to remember the OTHER things he is usually right on top of.
Yeah, yeah...stop being so hard on yourself, Lilly. I get it. My momma din't raise no dummy.
I'm just pissed because I crave order, and 2009 has been serving me up a steaming plate of chaos since February and it doesn't look like the menu is gonna change for a while.