You know what it is that gets me so much? Same thing as always. Lack of consistency. Was thinking about this on my shuttle ride back to one of the saddest places on Earth, the Ronald McDonald House. (By sad I mean just so many families suffering, it blows).
Anyway, Sinead's docs didn't bother with a post OP EEG, saying the chaotic nature of the brain as it heals doesn't give a clear picture. Here they do. Sophie had grids, Bennett did not. And on and on and on...I can never get a baseline of my own to work from.
This fucking disorder is like that. No consistency and it just gets to me.
And the other thing is...I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FEEL. Bennett hasn't had a seizure in over 36 hours, longest ever. But he's also a zombie right now. How am I supposed to feel? No seizures, but a chaotic EEG? How am I suppose to feel? Responds a little to me, most of the time he's not home. Probably gonna change as time passes, in the meantime HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL.
They do not give you manuals for this shit. And don't get me wrong, the docs here have been great. This whole week has just been like this whole year...full of unknowns. One answer leads to 10 questions. One door opens another closes. I'm just super, super tired of it.
OK, rant over.
On the plus side...Bennett's eye was a lot less swollen by the end of the day, temp is down again, and he is eating and drinking more. Positives. Positives.