So is this how it's going to be? For the next few days? Just a bone-jarring sense of each click of the second hand on the clock? It's excruciating. I've been trying, over this weekend, to keep myself as busy as I can possibly be. Tons of stuff that I had left undone to have at the ready should I be in need of distraction.
And I'm doing all of it, and yet, there it is, that tickle in the back of my mind, that reminder that in 4 days I will be pacing in a surgical waiting room while some people dig around inside my kid's skull. No matter what I try to do to take my mind off of it, I think of little else.
Bennett did up at the Urgent Care today, and it had nothing to do with his tumor or his dysplasia or his seizures. He pushed himself with his feet away from the table and the chair he was in toppled over, and he smacked his face in the same general location as his last black eye (which had almost healed by the way).
There was some blood, though he was pretty at ease for a kid who just got a cut near his eye, very little crying. The cut, while not overly serious, was worth a trip to the Urgent Care to use some skin glue to make sure the laceration stayed closed and healed fast. They did the usual checks for concussive behavior, there were none. That was around 2 PM Sunday. As of 6:30 PM he is acting just like he always does.
One odd thing to report, and this is what always fucking just blows me mind into bits. His seizures are starting to diminish in intensity and frequency. So, we got this full-on brain surgery going down, and the week of the surgery the seizures decide to calm down? I mean, you gotta be shittin' me right? I needed some OTHER reason to second guess my decision to let someone slice open my son's head?
I shake my head and chuckle at that. Sometimes, the ironies of life just have to be laughed at.