Sunday, September 20, 2009

But Sunday Renews

Man, I've had a pretty shitty weekend emotionally.

But Sunday renews.

For some people, it's church and God. I envy those people cause they get their renewal year-round and don't need a satellite dish. Me? I go to the Church of the NFL, and Sunday is when I express my faith. Today is a bit more welcome than usual, because of the aforementioned shitty mood.

Some of the reasons why I can't really talk about. Yes, yes, I are STUNNED that I hold anything back from you, faithful reader. And I do hate keeping secrets. But truthfully, I have some restrictions placed upon me in certain circumstances regarding things I am allowed to write about and things I am not allowed to write about. These restrictions come from within and without, but mostly without. I am, for the most part, a book that is SO open that the binding is creased to where you can't even make out the title and author anymore. But other people in my life are not the same, so some of them know me well enough to preemptively say things like 'You can't blog about that.'

I've spent the weekend alone so far, with Jennifer packing up the kids and taking Bennett and Carter to her sister's house. They won't be returning until sometime tomorrow, but I won't get much time with them then either, since tomorrow night is a 'lecture' of sorts on Understanding Your Medicaid Waiver or something along those lines.

Not sure if I ever mentioned that in these pages before or not. Earlier in the year, because of Bennett's condition, we applied for and were granted one of the ten Ohio 'waivers' for Medicaid assistance for Bennett. What does that mean? Fuck if I know, really. Jen is the medical professional and the smart one of this Duo, but as far as I understand it, because of his disabilities caused by his condition, he qualifies for Medicaid on anything that private insurance does not cover. And sometimes our insurance company does not cover everything.

It's actually quite a relief to know you have that Ace Up Your Sleeve should the need arise, there are also things that can be applied for in this Medicaid waiver system, relative to the states Early Intervention program, for his therapies, help in Day Care, school and so on. You have to re-apply annually, as it should be, but that's to be sure that the waiver goes to those who are in the most need. Should Bennett, post-surgery now, be able to start making the improvements we all HOPE he'll make, he won't be on the Medicaid Waiver list anymore.

Fine by me.

I am WAY off track. Anyway, because of that meeting Monday Night, I won't see the kids much at all until Tuesday. Miss 'em. Haven't spent this long away from Bennett since well before the surgery. Makes me uneasy.

Saturday, I had the house to myself and turned 42 at the same time. 42. Wow. I often ask myself if my life is half over by now, or even more. Can I make it to 84? Not unless some things change, like what I eat and exercise and managing stress. I made some great strides last year by quitting smoking, but by then was the damage already done? Dunno. We'll see. I hope to at least live long enough to be able to see my kids grow to be adults. That'd be nice.

So, with that, and a few other things causing me to be a bit in the dumps, I went out after doing a few chores and bought myself two video games to celebrate. Picked up Ghostbusters and Madden 2010. I haven't cracked the seal yet on the Madden, but I did play through two levels of Ghostbusters, and so far it's been fun. As great as the hype? No. But so far the nostalgia factor is cool, the voice work is great and the story and gameplay are fairly interesting.

I also started watching Kill Bill Volume II. Never seen it. Saw Volume I, never Volume II. Only got about 1/4 into it before I was sleepy and then it was off to bed. I'll try to finish it up some time this week, but might not have a chance cause the Mrs. HATED the first one, so I'd have to watch it while she is not around.

But now it is Sunday, and as it is with EVERY Sunday beginning in September and lasting through January, Sunday always, without fail, renews me. No matter what goes on in my world around me, on Sunday during football season all the accumulated bullshit is washed away for the day, as I watch me some freakin' FOOTBALL. (Though admittedly, Saturday's are starting to have a slight twinge of that now that I live in a VERY college football town and often find myself with college football on the tube on Saturdays. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to having the Ohio State game on Saturday on while I was folding clothes and junk.)

So today, the Ravens travel to San Diego to take on the Chargers. It's not an easy pick if you keep up with odds makers and bookies and shit like that. Frankly, the Ravens won against Kansas City last week, but it was a cupcake game, so I don't know how good the Ravens offense really is. It LOOKED good but it was against the FREAKING Chiefs. What was more startling were the amount of points the much vaunted 'D' allowed against the FREAKING Chiefs. But, the Chargers barely squeaked out a win against the lowly Raiders, so who wins this week's game between the two? I've seen some people giving odds for either team to win, so it should be a nail-biter.

That's at 4:00 PM EST, since it is being played in San Diego. The Sunday Night game is the Giants @ Cowboys, which I will watch as well. Both teams are division rivals of the Eagles, but I detest, DETEST, the Cowboys and really would love to see them humiliated in their debut of their new, expensive stadium. I'd like it to be as embarrassing for them as their loss was to the Ravens at their big 'celebration of the last game at Texas Stadium' last year. Or even better, the ass-kicking that the Eagles handed them on their last game of the season.

For the 1:00 PM game, I have to decide which game I want to watch. Here are the choices:

Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (Um....NO)
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions (Yawn...though I have yet to watch a Favre game this year, but it's early.)
Cincinnati Bengals @ Green Bay Packers (Cincinnati BLOWS)
Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (Supposed to be lots of rain...LOVE that.)
Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs (The FREAKING Chiefs?)
New Orleans Saints @ Philadelphia Eagles (E-A-G-L-E-S...)
St. Louis Rams @ Washington Redskins (Wow, looks like the 'same old sorry-ass Rams this year again, sad. Can they go 0-16? Though they DID upset the Skins last year didn't they?)
Arizona Cardinals @ Jacksonville Jaguars (Cards on the East Coast at a 1:00 PM start? Yuck. They'll be killed.)
New England Patriots @ New York Jets (Interesting...)

Now, normally I'd go right to the Eagles game. But here's the thing. I think the Eagles will lose to the Saints with McNabb injured, and not sure I want/need to see that this weekend. I'll probably peek in from time to time, but the game I most want to see is actually Patriots @ Jets. Yes, admittedly I prefer the AFC, but also I liked all the smack talk leading up to the game, it's a division game and it promises to be a better contest overall to watch. Besides, I'll get my NFC fix tonight. Plus, I have other motives, I need to study Mark Sanchez for other reasons. More on that sometime soon.

Anyway, this is what I love about Sundays in Fall and Winter. Picking the games, setting my Fantasy Football line-ups, figuring out what games I'll watch with the Sunday Ticket, and so on. And yes...choosing which jersey to wear. Doesn't matter that Friday sucked, and Saturday sucked as far as how I was feeling for both days.

Because come Sunday, I am renewed.



  1. Get your renewal wherever you can. There is no right or wrong way to feel a bit better. And I hope you do soon, my friend. There are days when you wonder if you are ever going to catch a break. And then there are days when you get swept up in football! Not a football fan myself but only cause I don't know the rules. Give me hockey any day. I went to mass this morning but because bucket of energy has made it impossible for me to hear a reading or sermon in 2 1/2 years I didn't leave in the best state of grace. This afternoon however I am getting my renewal in the international church of IKEA - praise flatpack!!!

    Wallow in the football. Enjoy, Phone Jen and the kids and have a little cry afterwards, Wallow in more football. Eat cake and enjoy your birthday old man.

  2. I haven't been to mass (non Wedding) or confession in...whoa...getting close to the 20 year mark.

    I would have loved to have some cake this weekend, it just felt creepy to buy myself a cake, know what I mean? :)

    Closest IKEA to us is Cinci. I do need to get out there sometime in the next few months. Tidbit for ya...I WORKED at IKEA for four years in my mid twenties in Baltimore. Started designing the kitchen layouts and then went to the department that did all the signs and graphics and junk in the store.

    Crappy pay, but the best health insurance I have EVER had. I paid for ZERO.

  3. Hey Happy Belated birthday. Sorry I forgot to msg you yesterday. No you are on my facebook, so I get a nice little reminder and everything, but I am still terrible with birthdays.
    Enjoy your football today. Go Bears.


  4. Happy day late Birthday! I definitely feel you on the renewal thing. Taylor had surgery this week and today is the first day things seem "normal". (Normal is a relative word when it concerns my daughter)

    Anyway...while I love college football, I'll have to admit that Hockey is my sport of choice. Not too much longer until the season starts. Go San Jose Sharks!

  5. We have two IKEAs near us Ken. Sounds like I should send nick to work there for the insurance. Although I cannot complain about the insurance we have. I have stressed from time to time but so far they have paid for everything. $250 copay for brain surgery makes me very grateful. Enough about me......

    Go buy the cake. It's not creepy. Creepy is asking a six year old in a playground if he'd like to come and play with your bunnies. Just don't make the mistake of eating alone in a family restaurant on your birthday and giving them your license when you order a drink. Did that once on my birthday and the waiter realized it was my birthday and thought it would be lovely for all the waitors to sing me q loud happy birthday. Again, enough about me...

  6. Except for my Panthers, I'm a COLLEGE fan, myself...Football AND basketball! Got it from my sweet Daddy...AND from the area in which I live....

    Haven't been to a game in YEARS, though, since seizures...But I still keep up....

    My NON-religious "renewal" is TV comedies...Seinfeld does the most for me...But there are alot I enjoy...Escape into that funny fantasy world and laugh out loud...It helps...

    Whatever works, right?

    (And I know what you mean about certain issues requiring a filter on here...OF course, you have been alot more brave than me...And I admire you for that...And I THANK you for it...Makes me feel better about the weird stuff that goes on in MY head!!!)


  7. Happy belated Ken ... get the cake and enjoy.Food,most especially chocolate for me,feeds my soul and brings comfort.Must be why I have been known to eat it for breakfast,lunch and dinner .. no joke.As for football .. some of the best therapy and renewal.Ask my husband.Mark headed to church this morning with the crew, minus the little one and I,due to the newly initiated lock down order,and it's been football ever since.Was 13-1 in football pool at work last week ... missed $200.00 by that one game!Bummer.Our 6 year old walked in the door a minute ago and asked if this was "The Red Zone" ... Mark said it's the best $49.99 he's ever spent!!What I'm trying to say is renew away Ken ... peace can come from the most unlikely sources.

  8. Happy Birthday again Ken. As far as life being half over or so? Nah. Not the way I look at it. Sure we're in our 40's but so? We've got young kids and a hell of a lot to look forward to as they grow, get married and have kids of their own. Besides, you remember much about life before 20? Nah, me neither. So I've got 24-25 years of memories and hopefully about double that left. That's how I look at it. Adult, active life is about 1/3rd over or so when you reach your mid 40's.

  9. Ken, in order to wish you a happy birthday, I finally broke down and became someone other than "Annonymous". Oh, the sacrifices I make. Regarding your cake, I have spent many a birthday alone and here is a good side to that...CUPCAKES. One of each decadent flavor that beckons you. No worry about who else likes that flavor, its all about you for a change. No getting tired of the same thing over and over.

    Cupcakes may not go well with football Sundays, but had I known, I'll bet I could have had the cupcake specialty store down the street make you beer-flavored and pretzel-flavored little cakes with team logos atop.

    So I can only send you birthday wishes in a thought, but this is it. I hope this Sunday is a catharsis you deserve. Smile knowing how many people you have touched and how many you have brought a smile of understanding. Believe me, you have not spent the weekend alone. There are best wishes everywhere. Listen to your elder!

    Go Rams! Oh wait, what am I thinking?

  10. Happy Birthday!

    Austin and Connor are both on waiver in NY and it's is such a stress reliever to know we have a back up insurance if something were to happen to my job. I am glad to hear that Bennett was aproved for waiver.

    And thank you again for supporting us on the walk!

  11. Oh made me cackle laugh. Very funny...

    Got nuthin' on the sports line. Unless it's my kiddos in the jerseys...


  12. Just finished watching the late game. Didn't care who won, but loved all the hype. I didn't have time for fantasy football this year and I find I can enjoy all the games a little more (unless my Panthers are losing again) when I'm not cheering for only one receiver and the opposing kicker. I used to love FF but it is kind of nice to just watch the games without constantly tallying points. Although it does take the sting out of another Panther loss when I can say I won my FF matchup. Oh well. Maybe by next year I'll have time for it again.....or the Panthers will get it together.

    Luckily, my UNC Tarheels are finally making Saturdays more enjoyable. And college basketball season is good for some happiness too.

    But I'm sorry about all the yuck of the week(end). Hope you did at least have some sort of birthday dessert. I would totally buy myself or make myself a cake. I am a big fan of cake. Happy belated birthday!

  13. I glared over the football stuff, because I hate sports! lol

    Again, a Belated Happy Birthday.

    Forty is the new Thirty, so you're a young fella.

  14. I have an irrational attatchement to my Netflix DVD's--I honestly believe that they heal my soul. I also like church, but find it harder to get to since we're not really comfortable leaving Charlie with a church daycare while we sit and enjoy the service.


You Are a Beautiful Blank Page...Do You Have a Great Pencil?

Christmas is over. That sound you hear is my sigh of relief. The tree is not actually down, as the opening image suggests. That was a t...