Man, I've had a pretty shitty weekend emotionally.
But Sunday renews.
For some people, it's church and God. I envy those people cause they get their renewal year-round and don't need a satellite dish. Me? I go to the Church of the NFL, and Sunday is when I express my faith. Today is a bit more welcome than usual, because of the aforementioned shitty mood.
Some of the reasons why I can't really talk about. Yes, yes, I know...you are STUNNED that I hold anything back from you, faithful reader. And I do hate keeping secrets. But truthfully, I have some restrictions placed upon me in certain circumstances regarding things I am allowed to write about and things I am not allowed to write about. These restrictions come from within and without, but mostly without. I am, for the most part, a book that is SO open that the binding is creased to where you can't even make out the title and author anymore. But other people in my life are not the same, so some of them know me well enough to preemptively say things like 'You can't blog about that.'
I've spent the weekend alone so far, with Jennifer packing up the kids and taking Bennett and Carter to her sister's house. They won't be returning until sometime tomorrow, but I won't get much time with them then either, since tomorrow night is a 'lecture' of sorts on Understanding Your Medicaid Waiver or something along those lines.
Not sure if I ever mentioned that in these pages before or not. Earlier in the year, because of Bennett's condition, we applied for and were granted one of the ten Ohio 'waivers' for Medicaid assistance for Bennett. What does that mean? Fuck if I know, really. Jen is the medical professional and the smart one of this Duo, but as far as I understand it, because of his disabilities caused by his condition, he qualifies for Medicaid on anything that private insurance does not cover. And sometimes our insurance company does not cover everything.
It's actually quite a relief to know you have that Ace Up Your Sleeve should the need arise, there are also things that can be applied for in this Medicaid waiver system, relative to the states Early Intervention program, for his therapies, help in Day Care, school and so on. You have to re-apply annually, as it should be, but that's to be sure that the waiver goes to those who are in the most need. Should Bennett, post-surgery now, be able to start making the improvements we all HOPE he'll make, he won't be on the Medicaid Waiver list anymore.
Fine by me.
I am WAY off track. Anyway, because of that meeting Monday Night, I won't see the kids much at all until Tuesday. Miss 'em. Haven't spent this long away from Bennett since well before the surgery. Makes me uneasy.
Saturday, I had the house to myself and turned 42 at the same time. 42. Wow. I often ask myself if my life is half over by now, or even more. Can I make it to 84? Not unless some things change, like what I eat and exercise and managing stress. I made some great strides last year by quitting smoking, but by then was the damage already done? Dunno. We'll see. I hope to at least live long enough to be able to see my kids grow to be adults. That'd be nice.
So, with that, and a few other things causing me to be a bit in the dumps, I went out after doing a few chores and bought myself two video games to celebrate. Picked up Ghostbusters and Madden 2010. I haven't cracked the seal yet on the Madden, but I did play through two levels of Ghostbusters, and so far it's been fun. As great as the hype? No. But so far the nostalgia factor is cool, the voice work is great and the story and gameplay are fairly interesting.
I also started watching Kill Bill Volume II. Never seen it. Saw Volume I, never Volume II. Only got about 1/4 into it before I was sleepy and then it was off to bed. I'll try to finish it up some time this week, but might not have a chance cause the Mrs. HATED the first one, so I'd have to watch it while she is not around.
But now it is Sunday, and as it is with EVERY Sunday beginning in September and lasting through January, Sunday always, without fail, renews me. No matter what goes on in my world around me, on Sunday during football season all the accumulated bullshit is washed away for the day, as I watch me some freakin' FOOTBALL. (Though admittedly, Saturday's are starting to have a slight twinge of that now that I live in a VERY college football town and often find myself with college football on the tube on Saturdays. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to having the Ohio State game on Saturday on while I was folding clothes and junk.)
So today, the Ravens travel to San Diego to take on the Chargers. It's not an easy pick if you keep up with odds makers and bookies and shit like that. Frankly, the Ravens won against Kansas City last week, but it was a cupcake game, so I don't know how good the Ravens offense really is. It LOOKED good but it was against the FREAKING Chiefs. What was more startling were the amount of points the much vaunted 'D' allowed against the FREAKING Chiefs. But, the Chargers barely squeaked out a win against the lowly Raiders, so who wins this week's game between the two? I've seen some people giving odds for either team to win, so it should be a nail-biter.
That's at 4:00 PM EST, since it is being played in San Diego. The Sunday Night game is the Giants @ Cowboys, which I will watch as well. Both teams are division rivals of the Eagles, but I detest, DETEST, the Cowboys and really would love to see them humiliated in their debut of their new, expensive stadium. I'd like it to be as embarrassing for them as their loss was to the Ravens at their big 'celebration of the last game at Texas Stadium' last year. Or even better, the ass-kicking that the Eagles handed them on their last game of the season.
For the 1:00 PM game, I have to decide which game I want to watch. Here are the choices:
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (Um....NO)
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions (Yawn...though I have yet to watch a Favre game this year, but it's early.)
Cincinnati Bengals @ Green Bay Packers (Cincinnati BLOWS)
Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (Supposed to be lots of rain...LOVE that.)
Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs (The FREAKING Chiefs?)
New Orleans Saints @ Philadelphia Eagles (E-A-G-L-E-S...)
St. Louis Rams @ Washington Redskins (Wow, looks like the 'same old sorry-ass Rams this year again, sad. Can they go 0-16? Though they DID upset the Skins last year didn't they?)
Arizona Cardinals @ Jacksonville Jaguars (Cards on the East Coast at a 1:00 PM start? Yuck. They'll be killed.)
New England Patriots @ New York Jets (Interesting...)
Now, normally I'd go right to the Eagles game. But here's the thing. I think the Eagles will lose to the Saints with McNabb injured, and not sure I want/need to see that this weekend. I'll probably peek in from time to time, but the game I most want to see is actually Patriots @ Jets. Yes, admittedly I prefer the AFC, but also I liked all the smack talk leading up to the game, it's a division game and it promises to be a better contest overall to watch. Besides, I'll get my NFC fix tonight. Plus, I have other motives, I need to study Mark Sanchez for other reasons. More on that sometime soon.
Anyway, this is what I love about Sundays in Fall and Winter. Picking the games, setting my Fantasy Football line-ups, figuring out what games I'll watch with the Sunday Ticket, and so on. And yes...choosing which jersey to wear. Doesn't matter that Friday sucked, and Saturday sucked as far as how I was feeling for both days.
Because come Sunday, I am renewed.