You know...this blog has its ups and downs. It has its twists and turns. It can be about something as serious as a brain surgery one day, or about some block figure the next. It can be about the trials and tribulations, the fears and doubts of raising a child with a brain tumor, Epilepsy and severe delays in development, then the next day might show you a chick in a Godzilla costume with tassels on her nips.
That's a reflection of who I am...a bit all over the place. Probably moreso now this year than in any other year of all my 42. I actually like that about myself, in an odd way. My ADHD sort of forces me to hyper-focus or be totally random, and I enjoy both at times. It adds something interesting to My Life.
But one thing that you can always count on, no matter what crazy tangent this blog goes down, is the profound...the staggeringly PROFOUND insight and support of those people who take their time from their own busy, difficult lives to offer a bit of encouragement, a nugget of insight, or an attaboy in the Comments section...all things that help someone in my position keep getting out of bed.
Thanks for that.
It helps. More than you can ever, EVER really know. And it trickles into my home, just so you are aware, and it affects my day, in a good way. I was reading some of yesterday's comments with my morning brew, and I did start to feel a little better, I did start to feel less alone, less lost. I did start to see how others deal with these days, and how 'typical' it is for all of us dealing with so many things in life that are not 'typical'.
And as I was walking towards the kitchen this morning, shortly before I was about to leave for an appointment with a doctor, my wife and I passed each other in the foyer. I haven't had a lot to SAY lately, unless I write it, and she gave me that sideways glance at me as she realized I was about to walk by without uttering a sound. She stopped me.
Are you alright?
That's her way, I think, of checking in to see if I am gonna be losing it any time soon. Can't say I blame her...she's been a trooper. She's been the stronger one of late. The glue. It's who she is. I looked at her, smirked out a crooked smile, raised my eyebrows and shrugged my shoulders, then gave her a hug and told her I'd see her when I got back.
That's my way of telling her, I think, that no, I'm not alright. But I'm trying, I'm really trying, and thanks for being concerned. Hang in there, kiddo, because eventually, hopefully, I can be.