Friday, February 26, 2010


Now, call me crazy, but I believe, as strongly as I have ever believed in anything, that if you pay $3,500.00 for this... we did 3 years ago, then I believe that you should not be in a position to have to repair or replace something on the item. EVER.

But that's just me. I think 3.5K is a ton of scratch for a TV. But we were doing well at the time, and we splurged. I mean, once we got a taste of what HD was at this size? Well, the ladies will certainly understand what I mean when I say it is very difficult to go back to something smaller.

And yet, here I sit, blogging as I wait for the clock to hit 10:00 AM, so that I can start calling local stores in an effort to find this:

Yes, this little baby, the projection lamp, burned out last night, and now this very expensive TV is just a very expensive corner decoration. And I gotta go find one and replace it.

And they are NOT cheap, these little XL-5100 lamps. Not cheap at all.

Of course, Mr. Double-Edged Sword has something to point out. It is an expensive thing that we really can't afford to get right now because of my recent enrollment into the ranks of the unemployed, and yet because I am unemployed I have plenty of time to hunt one of these lamps down and get the TV back up much more quickly than I would any other time.

Irony? Fuck off.

But here's the crazy thing. A freaky coincidence that will be viewed by some of you (*cough* Mr. Richard Hickam *cough*) as Divine Intervention, like God coming down and stopping the bullets from killing Vincent and Jules in Pulp Fiction.

Crystal, the woman who comes to our house 5 times a week to help with Bennett (yet another awesome thing about living in this county in Ohio...that is provided by the local government) asked a few days ago about what Carter was like at the age of 2.3 months, the age that Bennett is right now.

I was hesitant at first, and avoided showing her anything like a home movie of Carter at that age because I knew how it would affect me. But for some reason last night I felt particularly strong and got out some of the DVD's and put one in for her to see.

About 5 minutes in, I started to feel horrible. I started to get very upset about the differences I saw in Carter and in Bennett. It was a contrast I was not prepared wonder I was avoiding it. I was about to lose it.

Then 'POP'! TV goes out.

Instantly I went from Probable Emotional Mess to Mr. Fix-It Mode and started investigating the problems and reading the manual. Ultimately I determined the issue and figured out how to solve it.

Breakdown averted by Burnout.




  1. Don't go down that road, again. Although I completely understand the temptation.

    As for televisions, I sort of wish our twenty year old one would break.

  2. I find that now that Daniel is getting older and is such a typical 16 month old, I have a similar reaction, just in reverse. I thought getting to experience having a typical kid would heal a lot of the sadness...and while I am grateful he's typical, it just doesn't. Sometimes it just highlights all the more what our kids should have had.

    Funny that the TV went, but if it had to happen...pretty good timing.

  3. Can you teach our tv to go out? Probably not, because it's old and has been around forever and will NEVER die and I am much too weak to call the direct tv people and tell them to kill the feed. And, yet, I loathe the silly thing.

    Oops, sorry. I have issues.

    Anyway, I hope you find the part and get it fixed with minimal difficulty. But, before you do, store the home movies somewhere difficult to access. :)

  4. Hey my friend. Very sorry about the TV.

    We have a painting over our mantel of Jesus calming the storm when he and his friends were out on the lake and about to sink. My Dad (a devout atheist) looked at it while visiting us, paused, and said..."Sometimes God calms storm, sometimes He calms the man in the storm." It was the ONLY religeous comment I ever heard him make... but one that I have never forgotten.

    I'm glad for whatever helps you. And if that was God's hand in your TV...I just pray his other one is on Bennett.

    So, are you going to write that book?

  5. I have this little thing I like to say when things like that happen...

    You know things like...when we were in-patient and the family in the room next door spoke zilcho English. Had only been in the States for three weeks actually. Fresh from Tanzania. Where they speak Swahili. Also where we happened to spend two years previous learning how to speak...ummm...Swahili. Thus were able to translate for the medical staff.

    Or like tvs burning out right on que.

    I like to say...when things like that happen...

    Kinda makes you believe in God, huh?



  6. I have problems watching old videos....It isn't really comparing Colby to Shawn at particular ages...That pretty much stopped along time ago....Thank goodness....It was gut- wrenching....

    But now, it is more just watching videos of Colby maybe 10 years ago...Around 15 yrs. old......

    Sure, he couldn't walk, talk, potty, etc....But he was so bright-eyed....All the time...'til the monster started routine visits...

    Now I only catch glimpses of those REAL bright eyes...Only glimpses....I think it's all the seizures and all the meds...At least I hope so....I hope it isn't regression...

    I do believe that God can have very good timing....(And a good sense of humor!) Sometimes when we least expect it...

    Wish he would do something about this 12 year old TV I've got! (Seems like all of your readers have the same issue!!!)


  7. My dad has an expensive Sony that did the same thing.

    Don't play the comparison game--no matter what they're not the same kid and first kids are typically more adult and mature.

  8. I'm quietly wishing ours would break. Right now...because if I hear one more video game gunshot..I swear.

    As for the home movies..I can't say much. I've had mine packed in a safe for over a year now. Tried watching Austin's newborn/infant ones once since he started fading away from us. Can't even describe how that felt.

    But, on a lighter note...I've gotta agree with Danielle. Definitely makes you think.

  9. You know how I feel about tvs. I made that clear. I honestly don't ge the whole man-tv thing But anyway.

    Try hard not to compare the kids, even two typical subs will be at different points developmentally. It's not fair to them or you. It's a long road back for Bennett, give him time, it's only been a few months. He'll get there!

  10. Elizabeth:
    I messed up. With the TV out all weekend, I started watching a bunch of short vids on my computer of Carter AND of Bennett pre-surgery. Wow. I had forgotten how much Bennett talked before the surgery and how little he does now.

    Hit me hard. Weekend obliterated.

    Such a shame when something as wonderful as watching a child grow and evolve is tainted so much by watching another child suffer. I feel bad for you, me, all of us parents, I feel bad for the kids certainly, but I also feel SUPER bad for the seizure/disability shrapnel that explodes all over the siblings. It's awful.

    I did not watch the DVD's, but as you can see above, I made the mistake of still going to places best left un-gone to. Oh well.

    Richard: write and publish a book. You have met me before right? You know I have no ability to do that kind of thing on my own. I need a manager. Want the job?

    I wish it were that simple for that one instance to make me start talking to G again. Sadly it'll take me being a FAR better person to open that door.

    As always, I can't imagine how it is to live life through your eyes. It's been such a long, difficult journey for you. I just hope the seizures can get under control and soon.

    Yeah, comparison bad. You come down from the Saints win yet or is the whole town still buzzing about it?

    Good to see you out and about. Might be time to store away my vids too for a while.

    I know he'll get there. It's really MY issue of dealing with his life rather than his. He is, at the very least, happy, and that is I suppose what matters most. I have to get past things, much moreso than he does.

    Marissa's Dad:
    No one in town had it in stock on Friday except for some place located in an area of downtown I just won't go. So Friday I ordered one online and spent the cash for 2 day shipping. It will either be here today or tomorrow.

    It can't get here soon enough. Had NO idea at all how much I need that TV to preserve what little sanity I have left.


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