Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fecal Park

OK, now admittedly I have some issues.

One is thinking a bit too much about things that skeeve me out.

This past weekend, Jen took the boys to a sort of Hotel/Water Park combo place, somewhere near Mansfield, OH. I think it was called Splash Harbor or something...lemme Google it. Yeah...that is the place.

Now, I won't go anywhere near a public pool, but far be it from me to prevent my kids from going if Jen is into the idea of taking them.

Me? All I can think about is all the shit and snot and skin and pee that is floating around in that water. Totally gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Now you're saying...C'mon man, I can understand the pee thing, but actual shit? And the chlorine kills all that stuff anyway.

Not buying it.

First off, not every adult is going in to that water freshly showered. Now, you know how pissed you get when you have to drop a deuce AFTER you have already taken your shower for the day? Why's that? Because no matter how hard you wipe back there you are always going to have...well...let's just call them residuals.

Those residuals aren't coming off until that day's Shower #2 or the next day.

Here's some food for thought. Let's say you had plans to, I intimate with your significant other, and you'd pooped earlier that day.

Be honest with yourself.

You gonna shower first or just go for it? I'm guessing 9 out of 10 of you would say 'Shower, of course.' And to any of those that said 'Go for it!'? I GUARANTEE that not everything is going to be on the menu as far as those things we sometimes do before the main course begins, if you catch my drift.



And that's what's floating around in those public pools.

Person has residuals. Person is generally clean but you can't hide from residuals. Person goes into water in bathing suit. At some point person is in position where perhaps cheeks are a bit more open than most times of the day.

Residuals escape.

And that's just the adults. What about the kids who, um...just let it go in their 'swimmers' cause that's what they are used to?

End of story.

So anyway...I won't go near a public pool. But Bennett and Carter and a bunch of his family did this past weekend. Hope they had fun.

And yet...can you BLAME me for thinking that this wet adventure is what has caused Bennett to have godawful rhea for two days?

Nope. You can't blame me at all. I mean...even if the water was poop and pee free, the boy doesn't know any better and kept drinking the freaking chemically enriched fluid.



  1. hee, hee, hee....I will never go in a public pool again.

  2. Dude, YOU worry too much. Never thought I would be able to say that to you, huh?

  3. Let me just say that I never, ever think about that stuff. Ever.

    Know why Bennett had the Rhea? The chlorine. Believe me, that stuff is vicious and swallowing too much of it will definitely mess with your intestines.

  4. Oh my goodness, you think WAY too much!

  5. What a lovely picture to have so early in the morning!!! lmao I don't think I'll ever see water parks quite the same again Ken! lol

    But, I totally get what you are saying.

  6. Nothing like a good laugh in the morning :)

    'bout as good as watching my co-worker jump 10 feet when the cockroach went zooming into his cubical this morning :) The same co-worker who amkes fun of me because I freak out about even the dead ones. I work in such a lovely place!

  7. HAHAHAHA Like the scene it Caddyshack where the people scream "dooodie!!" and run like hell outta there! Then Bill Murray EATS it!! LOL

  8. This is Joyce. Not too long ago one of the blogers we follow wrote about how her family and a couple of other familes met up at an indoor water park and that night every single kid was throwing up. When she went to put the soiled sheets out in the hallway at the hotel, there were already a bunch of other rooms that had done the same thing. Then on the way home many of the adults started getting sick. I wish I could remember who it was, at any rate from that moment on I have had the same feeling as you. YUCK!!!

  9. Ha...I am SO GLAD that I read this AFTER I came home from the indoor water park that we went to last weekend. Because I choose NOT to think about these things. For the sake of my kids. Because I have a tendency to let the scale tip a little too far in the OCD category when it comes to any public place. It's been 5 days and we are all still healthy :)

  10. I'm so glad I'm not alone in these thoughts!!! Eric thinks I'm crazy sometimes but at least you can put it in to words for me to show him!


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