First Steps? Difficult, Indeed.
You know how something stands before you in your life, an obstacle that keeps you from moving from Point A to that always attractive but often elusive Point B?
Maybe its an argument unresolved between you and a good friend, maybe its that room that you have let so much shit pile up in that it seems there is barely room to breathe, maybe its living your life recklessly, with little regard for your body and then realizing that you have a long way to go to repair the damage you have done to it.
No matter what the obstacle is, the very first step you take towards it is the most difficult one. Well, maybe not THE most difficult, but certainly one of the most difficult. I often wonder if the last ones are the toughest, because that is often when you are at your weakest.
For weeks I have left this blog, um, well, how do I say it?
For weeks I have wondered how I can get back to it. For weeks I have let many people who care about me in the world exist in the dark, many fearing for me so much that they reached out personally.
To those folks I say thanks. While I would not say I was at Rock Bottom, I certainly was very close to it and just so you know it's really fucking dark down there. Stay up near the surface where the light shines through and the water stays warm.
But what would I say if I started blogging again? How could I just pick it back up again after so many weeks? How do I explain that long absence?
The answer? I'm not worrying about it.
I'm back, and I'll get to the particulars later. The key was taking the first step, which I have just done. And that's all I need worry about this afternoon.
Anyway...I'm back. I'm OK. I have much to write about.
And that's that.