Thursday, September 30, 2010


People say I'm crazy, doing what I'm doing.
Well they give me all kinds of warnings, to save me from ruin.
When I say that I'm O.K., they look at me kind of strange.
Surely you're not happy now, you no longer play the game.

People say I'm lazy, dreaming my life away.
Well they give me all kinds of advice, designed to enlighten me.
When I tell them that I'm doing fine, watching shadows on the wall.
Don't you miss the big time boy, you're no longer on the ball?

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go 'round and 'round.
I really love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
I just had to let it go.

People asking questions, lost in confusion.
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions.
Well they shake their heads and look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry...I'm just sitting here doing time.

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go 'round and 'round.
I really love to watch them roll.
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
I just had to let it go.

-John Lennon

Can you 'imagine' how many absolutely amazing songs were still left to be written by John Lennon were he not shot by Mark David Chapman in 1980? I mean, the guy was 40 years old. I'm three years older than that today. I also wonder, had Lennon not been killed, if The Beatles would have ever gotten back together and if they HAD, if it would have been a big mistake.

Blows my mind. The way human beings treat each other. Kill each other. Over stupid petty shit. For the worst reasons. We are sometimes a despicable species. I just hate it. Captain Douche up there was back up for parole again last month. Denied. Of course. Why do we bother to go through the motions? With him or guys like Manson? They are never going to get out, we KNOW that. Why spend the money on the song and dance?

Did you know Lennon had connection issues with his son Julian from his first marriage? Did you know he had his own father issues, not seeing his father for twenty years from the age of five onward? Did you know he had a problem with drugs and alcohol (duh)? Did you know he struggled with domestic violence, with hitting the women he was with?

While the McCartney/Lennon debate will rage forever on and on, in my own head as well, he is remembered for the most part as the greatest member of The Beatles, the champion of peace and ending the Vietnam War, and certainly the best regular guest ever on The Mike Douglas Show.

Yet he was (and would admit as much himself in interviews) such a flawed human being who was just BEGINNING his own journey of self-actualization, healing and discovery.

What if he'd been allowed to actually complete his journey? How far might he have gone? How much damage could he have repaired with Julian? How much could he have spread his message of peace not only externally but internally? How much more bad Yoko Ono music would he have helped put out? (OK, can you blame me, I had to at least toss that out there).

But as much as you have to credit Yoko for cracking The Beatles unity and ultimately breaking up the greatest band in the history of music, you have to credit her for helping to heal John Lennon the individual.

Something to consider.

Remember the famous Annie Annie Leibovitz photo used for the cover of Rolling Stone? That actually has some meaning. Lennon was naked to for the first time to someone. That's very difficult for people who spawn from troubled backgrounds to do. He needed her more than he needed The Beatles to transform from John Lennon/Rock God to John Lennon/Man. And he wanted to be Man more than God.

Sometimes the needs of the One outweigh the needs of the Many. Remember that.

I dunno...was just feeling that song in a big way this morning and I don't have the first clue about the reason. And since it be illegal to load it up here as an MP3 (at least, I think it be) I just pasted the lyrics.

A little nervous today. My Topamax dose doubles up, as scheduled, if I decide to go through with it. I'm a bit jittery about it though. Dunno why.



  1. Going deep today, huh? Okay...and you may not be in the mood, and I don't want to be a pain (but I AM going to be a pain), but you have an award here that you never acknowledged and that surprises me, because, usually, you would say something and THEN not do it!! ;) Really, Ken, no pressure, okay...

  2. I'll go to your place to respond...

    Nah not THAT deep, I don't have that much depth in me.

    Though I will now beat myself to death and overthink that you think I am a procrastinator for the rest of the day thank you very much.

  3. Ok. Love the guys music. I remember being home alone while mom and dad were at a party and watching the live coveage of the news of his death...

    I still blame the woman for her failure to support her husband and his career. She was wrong to insert herself in the band. Demonstrated her insecurity on a world wide stage.

  4. Aha...I hit a nerve with you Richard...wondered if you had a missing scale in that armor. But you're wrong...she DID support his career, just not his career with The Beatles. She wanted it to be his career with HER. :P

  5. I always thought Yoko got a bad rap. And I adored John Lennon -- still do. I loved their love story (even those missing ten months).


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