As it turns out, I'm guessing that Bennett had some sort of Flu last Thursday and Friday, and since he enjoys drinking out of Daddy's water bottle, guess who spent Saturday and Sunday with a bucket at the ready?
Yeah...that would be me.
I don't get adults though.
Why do some of us try SO hard not to blow chunks?
We hang on to our own vomit like its made of gold. All day Saturday I was about as nauseous as I have ever been in my life and yet I never once threw up. Came close a few times, but I fought it off like I was a Spartan at the Battle of Thermopylae. Even though I KNEW I would probably feel better if I just let it fly.
Finally, in an ironic twist, later that evening I decided to Hell with this, I'm gonna just do it already. I put on some gloves, went to the bathroom and tried to make myself...and I couldn't.
For some reason, I find this to be incredibly funny.
I have ZERO idea why. But I'm also nucking futs.
And hey...here's a bit of advice to anybody else who gets sick as this virus makes its way across the nation. Use caution when picking your Sick Movies. Jen didn't feel well either, but we both wanted to watch a movie. For a while I had told her I wanted to see, but didn't know much about, a movie called The Road. The only reason I wanted to see it is because I love Viggo Mortensen, and would watch anything he was in.
And don't get me wrong, it was a great film. Fantastically acted, grimly and beautifully directed, the subject matter was handled just as it should have been and it was a brilliant adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize winning novel written by Cormac McCarthy, whom you might also know as the writer of the book No Country for Old Men.
But it is dark as shit, and not the kind of thing you need when you are laying around sick and pondering the fact that your life, as you know it, will never be the same again. Something my wife and I had been conversing about this weekend.
This past week we could not figure out why Bennett was having such a rough time. He was not running that high of a fever at all but he was still vomiting and was constantly moaning/screeching. We tried so many things to make him feel better and we couldn't find anything that worked.
This particular flu virus gave very unusual symptoms. Severe body aches. SEVERE. Felt like your bones had bug-like exo-skeletal properties, so every movement you made resulted in your muscles scraping against your bones. Intense headache, severe nausea (and the vomiting only really came if you ATE, which of course we forced him to do), cramping in the stomach, weakness, temperature fluctuations but not severe enough to cause intense fever.
Many of the things we tried to make him feel better flew in the face of these facts.
We tried distracting him by PLAY, which probably caused him pain. If only we could have talked to him about it more, if he could have told us his tummy ached we might have tried to alleviate that symptom with something. We might have wrapped him in blankets, cause chances are he probably felt SUPER cold. I know I did all day Saturday, and I am the one generally bitching about how hot I am. My folks bring EXTRA LAYERS of clothing to my house when they visit, we keep it like a Morgue in here. But there was no way for him to tell us.
Anyway, it prompted a conversation between Jen and I about our family and our future. An admission of sorts, one we have always hinted at, but have never actually spoken aloud, at least not with the grimness of reality we did this weekend.
We admitted that our lives are essentially, from now on, never going to be the same ever again for our family. Not for any event. Not for any holiday. Not for even the simplest of functions. Our family isn't like other families. We don't fit in with the other 'normal' families anymore.
Now, in order for Carter to do something that other kids do, for the most part if things don't change from where they are we have to split the family up, etc., etc. It was one of those harsh reality conversations, a 'Why him?' conversation. A 'Why does Carter have to get all the shrapnel?' conversation. A 'What are we doing wrong?' conversation. A 'What happens if this?' and a 'What happens if that?' conversation.
I freakin' hate those.
We were just in a bad state of mind. Bad flu. Depressing movie. Ravens lost to the Patriots because of shitty, conservative play-calling...AGAIN. Cameron, you suck. Rough couple of weeks. Tough quarterly review from Bennett's school showing a fairly big swing and a miss on many of his goals.
Oh, and I know I said last week that I was gonna read up on ABA and Friday I was gonna tell you what I learned. I did read up, and I did learn some things, but now I am more confused than ever (And Friday I was dealing with a sick boy so I couldn't do a write-up...shit happens). And the eval makes me even MORE confused. More study is needed and I need to do an observation day at Bennett's school. To be continued.
I do have quite a bit more to say about The Road also, which is still on my mind, days later, and how it relates to a lot of things that I think parents who experience any kind of disaster with their child go through, but that's gonna have to wait for another time.