Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Luck Continues to Improve


Thank you, oh Powers that Rule the Universe. While yes, I am so very grateful that you spare me from Death and Seizures when clearly I do not deserve it, I love the fact that you never cease throwing me curve balls that hit me SQUARE IN THE NUTS as often as you can possibly do so.

Crack...the small, almost imperceptible sound was followed in almost immeasurable fractions of nanoseconds by the pain. Yet another of my teeth in the back had shattered.

This happened to me once before, and I saved a picture.


I called him Fred.

I lost Fred. Had to give him up. He was far too badly damaged to salvage. He go bye-bye. I never quite got over the loss. I still seek him out sometimes with my tongue, looking for solace, and there is just an empty space where Fred used to be.

Sniff. I miss him.

His opposite number, Frank, on the other side, was in better shape. He had some interior damage, but he became the first King of Lilly Mouth by being the first one crowned. He ruled with an iron...crown. That's all he had. Well, maybe some bumps.


His closest neighbor, Farnsworth, became the next casualty this evening, while I was eating a bagel with a piece of chicken on it. I don't know where the rest of Farnsworth ended up. In my stomach? I hope not...I spat once the pain registered...but who know how many shards of the poor chap ended up in my intestines.

The thought of him stuck down there, swimming around in all that...POO. Ewww. Poor Farnsworth. Your absence is causing me pain in more ways than just one. Just please, PLEASE...if you are down there old boy...don't slice something else and give me a double whammy...I just went to the ER recently for some...rather unpleasant back door issues.

I do NOT want to go back.

The dentist will be bad enough.

OUT.

8 comments:

  1. Ooh, not good. I had to get a filling drilled out and replaced recently because it was killing the nerve in the tooth. I feel your pain. Hope the dentist is nice to you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG that picture! HAHA I have two bottom wizdoms that have to come out and one tooth that it has been suggested to me to get a crown...sigh..Hang in there...get the gas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I am thankful that I can't see the top picture. Is it an actual picture of your broken tooth?

    Anyway, saw life was crazy/complicated/totally sucking right now on Holli's blog. Wishing for better days for you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey. I hate missing a couple (or three) of your blogs because then I figure you won't go back and look at comments on them so I have to post an irrelevant comment on your most recent blog...like this.

    Not that I have anything to say really. Very, very upset with you that the home-health aid bailed. I guess jobs are much easier to come by up there so they can just pick and choose. I guess you figure if she doesn't have it in her heart to be there...better to find out early than later.

    Re: Bennett and guilt and fear and developmental ages measured in months not years....
    From my imperfect perspective, no matter what's going on in his mind...an no matter how far he stays delayed, he has purpose, and can and will contribue to this world in ways we'll never understand or know.

    Sorry...you know how I get. I missed my turn to call you...as you knew I would. Later

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh...and I think it's really weird that you name your teeth. Makes me wonder what you call.....never mind. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. pinkelastik:
    He/she will be. Or I will kill them.

    Jamie:
    I'll get as many drugs as I can possibly be allowed. I love all narcotics, have I mentioned that?

    Kim:
    That photo of Fred there was taken back when we worked together if I recall. That's when he cracked.

    Jen:
    At the VERY top is Austin Powers and his bad teeth, under that is a picture of my first tooth that shattered in the back, I guess under the filling had started to decay so the wall of the tooth got weak and eventually one side broke off. Same thing happened.

    When is life not crazy/complicated/totally sucking? In fact if things were going awesome I'd probably hate it because then I'd just be all anxious wondering when the bottom was gonna drop out. At least this way I stay focused.

    Richard:
    The beauty of Blogger is that if you post on an old blog I still get notified, no matter what. Of course I have 5 e-mail addresses, a Facebook account in which we are friends, a telephone number and a home address and a P.O. Box, all of which are always at your disposal for communication, Captain Ass.

    I know Bennett has purpose and value, and that really the only obstacle to his real happiness is me. Jen points that out all the time...that he is happy, why am I so unhappy FOR him. Fatherly expectations shot to shit, and it's my problem, not his. I will adjust, it will just take time.

    The guilt is from something else, which I promise I will write about, it is still not totally ready to come out yet.

    I of course don't REALLY name all my teeth, but since you are so curious about my pee-pee you homo I call him Colonel Microscopica.

    But that's only when I can find him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Off topic- want to podcast tonight, Ken? Shoot me an email!

    ReplyDelete