Thursday, March 3, 2011

Of Comments and Responses

I've always wondered how many people, when they read these ramblings...what is the tipping point that motivates their fingers to move over their keyboard and actually type a response? I'll never know, and I'm certain that everyone has a different motivating set of circumstances, just as we all have different motivators for just about everything we all do.

As I listen to my son practically crying in the other room as he plays LEGO Star Wars, his level of frustration over his inability to beat certain aspects of the game blossom into something that makes me wonder why he continues doing it. Because the last thing in the world it sounds like he is fun.

I know that his motivation for playing video games is VERY different than mine. But, I do not quite understand his, because honestly, I can't get into the head of my 6-year old son, as much as I would like to.

I'm already into HEAVY blog digression, because what I am REALLY wondering about, of all the people who DO leave a comment, how many realize that you can click a box that allows you to be notified when a follow-up comment is left in the same blog? I wonder that because as often as I can I try to go back and personally respond to comments.

Admittedly, I'm better at this sometimes than I am at others, but I am trying to make more of an effort at it lately. But are those people 'getting the message', so to speak? I don't know. I know some people do, because of the occasional 'response to the response' that happens.

Other than that? I just don't know.

This week, there were quite a few very compelling comments that I wanted to respond to. So I thought I might post this before I do that. Should I do it in the Comments section, like I've been doing it, or should I do it in an actual blog post, so that I can be sure that those who wrote the comments actually see 'em.

Any thoughts? Let 'em fly. Meanwhile, I gotta go help me kid before he throws the controller into the TV Set.

'DADDY!!! Darth Maul's not letting me beat him!!! THIS SUCKS!!!'

Thankfully, I can kick Darth Maul's ass.

At least, LEGO Darth Maul.



  1. Whenever I get the courage to comment anywhere I always click the thing to get follow up comments in my email should there be any. I don't know about the same things you wrote for the same things on my own blog, I try to respond to everyone but I have no idea if they read the responses or not and wonder if I should respond also in actual posts where I am sure they will be read. I have no idea either way just find the same issues.

  2. You mean I have to read what you think of my comments? Oy, I better be a lot nicer ...

  3. I only recently discovered that tiny box and sometimes I don't WANT to check it because I don't want any more email to fill up my box. BUT -- my motivations to comment are purely because I'm a big talker, a big typer and I love our community. I love getting comments, even when they're just gratuitous praise, so I try to do the same for others.

    With you, well -- I just love you so I comment whenever I can!

  4. I think people will mark the little box or come back to the comment section if they expect an answer or if interested in what others have to say about the post. Of course there are some comments that are so outrageous or so inspiring that they call for a separate blog post, but in my opinion in most cases a reply in the comment section will suffice. Or if you want to be absolutely certain that a commenter reads your response then you can do the e-mail reply thing (provided that blogger has their address). Anyway, I hope you kicked Darth Maul's butt mercilessly.

  5. I like you.....even when I don't comment...

    Sometimes I don't have time to comment cause I am busy scraping the carrots off my keyboard.

  6. Time to teach Carter to look up solutions on the computer :) But seriously, I understand and it's mostly Connor, though Austin has his moments. ben is a go with the flow kind of kid. Austin and Connor can't handle not being able to do something, anything, not just video game related and I'll be honest (though you'll hate I said this, sorry) I always attributed it to Connor's Asperger's and Austin's "issues" from IS, but maybe it's really not, maybe's it's just a form of perfectionism. I know I hate doing thing's half assed. I am very much of the mindset that if I can't do it well, I don't want to do it at all. Hey, maybe that's why I don't play video games? Who knows. But help Carter, or show him how to get the help he needs online. Since I can't help my kids through video game issues, I just make them turn it off til Daddy gets home.

    As for comments, I generally don't click the follow up box, even if I am expecting a response. I get so many darn emails as it is I try and limit anything additional. But I do TRY and check back if I am awaiting a response. Doesn't always happen though.

  7. Aware of the box I am, however fear of rude responses keep me from click it. I do however check back on the comment section on my own terms where it's not just waiting to ambush me in the good old inbox.

  8. Judging from the minimal responses and the reponses received I can surmise that it doesn't really matter...SO, I will just keep doing it the way that I have been doing it. If someone misses a response that I wish they got...I just gotta chalk it up to Fate.

    Ideally, the format should just be different overall in Blogger. Gotta figure out a better way to deal with it.

    Titan and Nate:
    Hi...I don't think we've really spoken much in the past, I think you are fairly new here, welcome. Can I ask how you found yourself visiting here?

    Is there a space BETWEEN the Single and the Dad ala Single Dad or is SingleDad as one word OK? Nah...nice schmice...speak your mind, that's all anyone can do.

    Love, huh? You're just saying that because football season is over and there is danger of a lockout for next year.

    I did not have to kick Darth Maul's ass (which I assume is tattooed, but I wonder...does it also have those horn thingies sticking out?). I will, as much as I can't stand it, sometimes just wait and let Carter cry or scream or wail and hope within time he learns to figure it out on his own. He did.

    Most people are saying 'HUH!?!', so I will just say that this comment is a little inside joke twixt Sinead and myself.

    I do not hate that you said it. There are many people, my wife and I included, that have wondered if Carter has Asperger's. He exhibits a LOT of behavioral characteristics that lead us to believe that he might. And since Bennett clearly has something brain-related, a genetic anomaly in our family is certainly a possibility. So yeah...I've definitely considered that.

    Interesting. Never thought about that. Why would you be afraid of that, did something happen specifically to you in the past? It is a VERY rare occurrence, at least I think it is anyway. Most of the time I find that people are, for the most part here, fairly courteous. The only times I think it isn't like that I find it usually involves mis-communication or sensitive subjects.

    Another person I don't really know much about. I just went to your own blog. Who are you and what brought you here? (Shines embarrassing light at Mummy) Speak up! :P

  9. I read leasticoulddo the comic, and I got led to Marrissa's Bunny by that website about 6 months ago, and Single Dads website and yours all that same week, just exploring and have been reading since. I enjoy reading, but as I am not a parent yet, most of the time I realize I have nothing to compare to even, other than you seem to be rocking as a parent.

  10. That's very cool...welcome. I'm not though...rocking as a parent. I manage, that's about it. I get by. I'll put it this way...I do fairly well all things considered. :)

  11. I don’t want to argue with you on your own blog, but dang it, I’m going to, because you deserve an ear full for that response.

    I know from personal experience that parents can let their kids live in a house with three feet of trash, cat poop, and cockroaches, and then give up their perfectly healthy children so that they don’t have to clean the house, and can spend their time doing drugs and avoiding all responsibility, and not talk to their kids for a year.

    I also know from reading your blog that you fight for what your kids need, you care about them and love them, and that you would never give up a chance to receive a hug from your children, you do the best you can, which means that you rock it, whether you want to admit it or not. :)

    Now I will fade to the background of blog reading world and await your next post.

  12. I don't comment as often as I should on other blogs, and I have a nontraditional comment system which chokes on some versions of Java and adblockers.

    Double whammy. That said, we've got like 300 entries into the SN iPad giveaway, and 4000+ in the xBox giveaway, so I know there's readers. They're just silent!

  13. Mummy:
    You bring up a very interesting point, and I actually plan on addressing it, in typical Lillyesque violation of all Blogiquette with a rambling blog about my perceptions about what qualifiers define what is a 'good' father, a 'bad' father, and so I'll hold on my response. But I wanted you to know I heard you.

    Marrissa's Dad:
    I NEVER doubt your readership...though I always wonder if I've pissed you off. I'm paranoid by nature and now that you are becoming a big-time hot-shot :D I never hear back when I shoot you those e-mails so I figure I must have said the wrong thing or something. But then I remember...hey wait...I'm a paranoid FREAK and then I just fuggedaboudit. Cause I know that you are just busier than all get out. That and I turn down some of the fun stuff you ask me to do cause I'm chicken-shit.

  14. Never pissed, just busy.

    You should ask your readership if you should stop by our (audio only) podcast!

    Oh, wait. I just did!

  15. I first read your name on the Single Dad blog and then it started coming up in other blogs I was reading and I liked a lot of your comments so I came to check the blog out. I am mostly a lurker on blogs, I read a lot but have a lot of fear on commenting, wrote a post about it, but I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now. Nate never comments except to comment on my own blog when I am unable to formulate a comprehensive response or he feels it is important, we are sort of a team together, he helps me navigate the world and function mostly and helps me with my writing and such so it makes more sense.
    I like what you write, this post just brought up something I felt myself and brought me past my anxiety to comment. So hi, nice to meet you. I am trying to get past my fears to comment on blogs, and you happened to be the first I had the courage to do it on.

  16. Well I am truly honored then. Thank you very much.

  17. Hmm, I don't ever check the box. I don't always comment on what I read (usually due to lack of time, not lack of opinion or comment to share). I rarely check back for feedback on my comments unless I'm expecting a response or interested on others' comments. And I'm awful about commenting on comments myself. I guess that means I have little to contribute here in way of advice on that topic.

    By the way, I used to love playing xbox with Chad. But, I would never EVER play anything with him like Halo, etc where there's shooting and I could get killed. It's too much anxiety for me. I don't see how he can play Halo and Call of Duty without having a nervous breakdown. lol I play the ones I can't get shot or blown to bits for example. Or my beloved Guitar Hero..which I heard a while back is not releasing any more games. Figures. Haven't had time to play in months anyway.

  18. Well how appropriate that you posted THIS blog! I actually printed the comment you posted on my blog and TOOK IT to our 2nd opinion doctor appointment.

    It is now hole-punched and in Deacon's medical binder to remind me how important fighting for him is.

    Thank you.

  19. just made my life WAY easier. I hadn't found the box! I'm usually frazzle brained and hurried when I'm reading & commenting on my fave blogs. Yours would be among the faves.




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