Tuesday, May 3, 2011
There is Another...
My gut instinct is to start this blog with a very long rant about the huge contrast in how our daily life is right now. About how our family seems to be walking on the edge of a knife. About how difficult things really are. It's not surprising at all that this sickness with me is still lingering on, taking such a long time to heal.
The stress and the pressure that I feel are decimating my immune system.
But it can wait. I don't have the energy and frankly I don't know that I even have the words to explain all the various aspects of all the various things that are going wrong.
And truthfully? I don't even know that it is a single blog entry.
And besides, I do have another son that I have been promising devoting some blog time to, and I want to honor that promise. It's bad enough that he has to walk around the house literally in fear of being physically attacked by his younger brother, he also gets pushed aside in how much attention he receives because he is 'Typical'.
Like so many of the 'Typical Kids' in our families that are living alongside those that are disabled, he just, for whatever reason on any given day, gets the shaft. Less in the way of time, less in the way of our attention, less in the way of my focus here, and on and on and on.
It is so unfair to him. And I hate it.
But I am super proud of him, he does the best that he can under some of the worst circumstances. He had a great Easter, scored a ton of Eggs in the hunt, I've never seen a kid move so fast. He was inspired. He also yanked out another one of his teeth over the weekend.
But the biggest news with Carter lately is this...he is sleeping in his own room now.
All by himself.
Now that might not be a big deal to some of you, but to us? HUGE.
He is almost 7, he will be in July, and the boy HAS NEVER done this. He started his life in a crib next to the bed in the Master Bedroom, back when it was a bed that I slept in with Jen. A habit started, when he would cry, when Jen would pull him into the bed to quiet him, and soon that was where he was most comfortable, and soon that was where he slept full-time. As he got bigger, I eventually had to go.
Once Bennett was born the exact same situation occurred with different players, but Carter was too freaked to move into his own room so his bed just got moved into Mommy's room, and he slept in there ever since.
Of course, he also used to sleep quite well on my back, but he doesn't do that much anymore. Sniff...I remember once I posted this picture on my old blog on 'Creatus Maximus' and said I would miss this when it went away, and sure as shit I was right.
Anyway...it wasn't just getting him into his own room that we needed to accomplish here. There was another big hurdle. See, up to now, Jen had to, every night, wait upstairs with him, until he fell asleep...or he just could not handle it. Which was really putting a dent in her life let me tell you. We had to put a stop to that. Just HAD to. Jen needed it...BADLY. Like I said...stress levels have been super, super high.
So I stepped up and if you don't mind a little self-directed 'ATTABOY!' I delivered a goddamn touchdown play. Jen had to Quarterback it, but I developed it and designed it. I put together a 4-step plan, using what I'd sort of manipulated into being Carter's current 'currency', Star Wars Galactic Heroes.
I knew the kinds of things he really wanted from the product line and made sure he 'stumbled into' seeing some things from the line I knew he would be really into.
I then put together a calendar, some visuals, super simple stuff, and just tacked everything onto a wall, essentially just showing him how he could earn some of the larger scale GH stuff since he was earning the smaller figures for good behavior in school. Each morning after a successful night, he would get to put up another one of the squares I'd cut out, and when all those squares that he needed were up, he'd get that prize.
First two prizes were with him staying upstairs by himself in his bed which was still in the Master Bedroom after being properly tucked in, second two were after moving the bed into his bedroom. Nightlights and such were provided and certain ground rules established (expectations of excuses of 'I need a glass of water' and 'I need to go pee' were factored in, of course).
First few nights there was SOME of that, but not much. Overall? The boy has done fantastic. Better than we ever expected. I'm super proud of him.
He'll be done with Kindergarten soon, and then home for the summer. I'm looking forward to it. There was a time that I would have not felt that way, but I am actually REALLY looking forward to it now. Being able to spend each day with him around, just the two of us, will be great. I'm going to have him help me with my work some of the time, plan some activities for us, and try to schedule some of his time, but also allow him to kick back and have some fun. Maybe have a lightsaber fight or two.
But mostly? I just want to spend time with him, TALK to him, share stuff with him and maybe together I can help him to understand why Bennett is the way he is and that we are doing everything we can to try and stop Bennett from doing some of the things he does.
I'll close with some more images from this past Easter weekend that Carter's grandmother and grandfather on his Mom's side took. Awesome pics.