Saturday, June 11, 2011

Day Two

So far so good. I haven't killed him, he hasn't killed me.

That's a win/win scenario, don't you think?

Last night actually went rather smoothly, all things considered. I say 'all things considered' because we did have a massive thunderstorm that caused, of course, full-on confirmation that, indeed, the leak has not been stopped as we previously thought (hoped) and Steve's return in July is now more needed than ever. As is the cold hard stuff.

The problem is that the ONE place Bennett loves to run and look out and watch the rain is the one place of the floor that is getting weaker with every storm we have. And I fear that one day one of the kids is going through it. I need to figure out how to keep that from happening BEFORE Steve gets here.

Though my immediate need last night was keeping Bennett away from that spot. Once he knew I did NOT want him going there, that was exactly where he decided to keep going back to. So...I just put one of his favorite toys there. At least I knew the cross beams under the floor were strong enough to support the weight and I measured the distance across and knew the toy wasn't going through.

That entire door, and probably a good portion of the wall and a large chunk of the sub floor? All has to be replaced...AND we have to figure out how water is coming in. And since water flows downward on this planet, I've had to shuffle the basement around like a madman so that nothing else gets damaged, since I did lose some stuff before.

We did lose power a few times, but that happens when it is bright and sunny out, our power grid sucks big time. But it never STAYED out, which was key.

Other than that? The only real issue was Mrs. Lilly, who called more than she usually does when she is out of town, because she ALREADY misses the little guy in a HUGE way...and it hasn't even been a full 24 hours yet. This is going to be hard for her.

It's around 9:30 AM now, and Bennett is a bit feisty. I can tell this will be tougher for Saturday and Sunday, keeping him entertained, since I am not a BT at his school, constantly giving him one on one attention. He gets bored. But I'll figure some stuff out to do with him, and do the best I can.

He's just damn hard to figure out.


He not five minutes ago brings me a book I had read to him a few times before, says 'BOOK!' in Benglish. I start to read it to him, by page 3 he bolts. He just doesn't have the ability to stay focused. The boy has no attention span, something I and some of my other Brain Surgery Parent friends have been discussing about our kids of late in a forum. How do we get them to learn when we can't get them to sit still?

It is a very, very difficult thing. Toss in some biting, hitting and self-injurious behavior and some missing sections of brain and it makes for a very perplexing thing to figure out. Your child becomes a puzzle.

I figure the hardest days, and I always did, will be today and tomorrow. I get through these the rest are gravy.



  1. You can do it Ken! And remember Mrs. Lilly is only a phone call away. Try something new & different w/ Ben this weekend...take a walk, play at a least it will get you thinking about what you can do and it's worth the shot to give it a try. Maybe you'll find it'll help the weekend go by faster :) All our love! See you soon!

  2. No deaths yet,is victory in and of it's self.

    Sending strength your way for the days ahead and peace to mommy who is missing her buddy.

  3. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And hoping that Ms. Lilly starts relaxing and enjoying her time away soon.

    Then I'm hoping for respite for you.

  4. your opener makes me laugh...the picture of Bennett and then your statement not having yet killed each other...just fits so well together!

    If I need to smile I'm hitting your blog!

    Good luck today!

  5. How does Bennett do in the car? When my husband traveled a lot and I had the kids alone, I found driving around, listening to some music to be a really good thing. The youngest often fell asleep, and she stayed asleep as I carried her into the house, making bedtime really easy.

  6. Hi Ken,

    EM has ASD, plus as yet undiagnosed physiological issues.

    Re attention span, we started EM on Oxytocin, via nasal spray, less than a month ago. His ESE Pre-K teacher, therapists, and our family have all noted marked improvement in EM’s focusing and joint attention. There is a lot of current research by reputable institutions, which shows a positive effect on social interaction in autistic children prescribed Oxytocin, the maternal bonding hormone. It might be something to consider for Bennett.

  7. Erasmus B. DragonJune 12, 2011 at 1:24 PM

    That oxcytocin sounds promising, based on the articles I have read. Supposedly it enhances trust, positive interactions, and socialization.

    Would SKYPE work in your scenario, or would it make things worse?

    I lurk frequently; enjoy your blog.

  8. Bree
    I actually did take him to a park. Probably should have stayed home. Once he became obsessed with going up the slide, it went downhill from there. He simply would not accept that he could not go up, only down, and as much as I tried to show him that he could go back down if he'd only walk around to the other side and climb back up he refused to accept it and insisted on trying to go back up the way he came down. After a while, I just couldn't watch it anymore, became too difficult for me.

    Thanks. Must be working.

    The two of us don't really get much time for the two of us. Just doesn't work out that way. Besides, the day after she gets back I leave to drive out to see my Mom for a week.

    Thanks...He used to smile a LOT more when I took pictures. But he's getting far too AWARE of the camera now. And I don't think he likes having his picture taken anymore.

    He generally enjoys looking at stuff in the car.

    EM's Mom
    That's very interesting...I'll have to look into that. A maternal bonding hormone doing that sounds extremely non-threatening and certainly more palatable than a lot of the medications I see as options.

    I don't know on the SKYPE thing. I don't know that they actually have a Laptop out there, for one thing, but I also just don't know that it would register to Bennett to look at the screen and recognize it to be his Mommy. I've put her voice on the Speaker Phone and he doesn't try to really interact much with her at all. But he will pick the phone up if it is laying around and push buttons and he giggles if it makes sounds and accidentally calls someone or gets a voice mail or whatever. But as far as actually listening or smiling or getting into hearing Jen's voice through the phone? Hardly made a dent. It was very disheartening.


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