Wednesday, June 22, 2011

If I Could Only Bottle It

Today is my last day at my Mom's house.

It's been great. Gonna miss it. And my folks. I can't even begin to describe how peaceful the last four days have been for me. How relaxing, and I don't easily chill. Anyone who knows me well can confirm that.

Even my mother and step-father have both made comments that essentially have related the same sentiment, that neither of them have seen me so 'at peace'. With myself, with my surroundings. They are used to seeing me wound up very, very tightly, at home, ready to pop a gasket.

I don't know why I let life get to me the way that it does. If there was some secret formula in he water out here I'd certainly bottle it up and take it home with me, but I don't think the answer is that hard to figure out. Once removed from the awesome, and I do mean awesome, responsibilities, and the overwhelming feelings of pressure that come along with everything that is going in my life right now...with Bennett, my career, my family, my home, my health, and on and on...stepping away from it into a place where none of it is a factor is...everything.

Why do you think baseball players have all those weights on a bat when they are taking their practice swings in the on-deck circle before they go up to the plate? Because without all that extra weight, suddenly their bat is lively and their swing is faster and they feel less burdened by the bat and more in control of it.

I need to come out here more often, if not just to see my mother and put less of the responsibility on her to come to MY world, I owe her that much, but also just because in the long run it may result in me being less frayed around the edges so much of the time.

I've never been the type of person who takes time away, who steps back and takes care of himself as far as 'vacation' goes. Never have been.

But as I go through this evolutionary process I seem to be navigating through, trying to make course corrections in my life, it might be wise to make sure I don't forget the lessons I learned from this experience, and STEP THE FUCK BACK every so often.

I'll probably be successful at a lot of the other things I'm currently trying to do in the meantime.

Next time you hear from me, I'll be back in Ohio.



  1. I think my new mantra might be: STEP THE FUCK BACK.

    Wise words, Ken. Wise, wise words that we can all benefit from --

  2. Ditto Elizabeth.Seriously adopting that one.Or will at least give it a shot.

    So happy the time spent with your folks brought much needed peace to you.I envy that.

  3. Jen
    Thanks...I'll keep those well-wishes in my pocket BECAUSE...I changed my mind. I've decided to stay a couple of days longer. The wife is cool with it, there isn't a super pressing need to return today, so I am postponing my return trip until Saturday.

    I'm not one of those poet guys you quote all the time in your blog, I never will be. My words just don't come out that way, but you gotta admit, STEP THE FUCK BACK would make a T-Shirt that would make people think twice.

    Just call me Walt Whitlilly.

    I know you do...and I wish by some miracle (yes I said MIRACLE so you can take that by whichever definition you choose of course) there is a way for you to patch up your situation before it is beyond repair. And by 'you', of course I mean 'them', since I know who really needs to do the patching. But I am hoping it gets patched nonetheless.


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