Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Emotional Control

It is only natural, in times like these, to let our emotions take over.

Everyone feels things on such an intense, focused level. Everyone. Especially the parents. I don't think I need to remind anyone that I was a former recipient in the Marissa's Bunny iPad Contest, and it is very easy to get swallowed up by current events. In case you had not seen those current events, they were, in summary, a statement by the contest host that the contest is officially closed and the iPads will not be forthcoming.

Ever since that time, my Inbox and Heather's has been in overdrive. Comments sections in blogs have been deluged. Facebook is on fire. Cats and dogs, living together...mass hysteria!

It has been suggested that some people on the recipient list are not who they claim to be, that entire identities are in question. A reasonable thing to be aware of. Please know that we ARE aware that identity verification is essential to any process, and one member of our team you will be meeting shortly has created some very cool forms that are simple and very easy to fill out that any recipient would ONLY have to complete when an iPad is ready to be delivered. This gal's GOOD. IN fact, here is a look at one of the forms right now. Cool huh?

But you won't need to complete it until WE are ready to ship an iPad to YOU. And not before. No need to ask for something until it is needed, capise? You all have been through enough of that.

Other steps will be taken as needed, but I also urge this...do not over-stress about this parents, recipients and other members of the community. We all need to keep a reasoned mind. Too many people have their torches out.

Is it OK to skeptical? Absolutely. But we cannot afford to be accusatory of anyone. It would not be the right thing to do and it would take us off the task at hand.

As it stands, after having posted the invitation to join the restoration process, our of 40 posted recipients, I have only received 15 responses to this request, though one I know if is still probably pending. This does not mean that the rest are 'not real'. I honestly think that many people have simply had enough. I can tell you this...I am exhausted from this. My wife hates me right now. This thing can take on a life of its own and I am convinced that a LOT of recipients probably have just said 'You know what...this shit SUCKS!!!' and moved on.

I'd be lying if thoughts like that had not crossed my mind about the entire Internet. That's what happens in your head when things like this happen. So you can't just jump instantly to any single conclusion.

I assure you, we will address this in the verification process section in the new blog site, so please do not stress over it. Ask yourself this...what IF someone who was not supposed to get an iPad got an iPad? As long as we succeed in our mission, then that does not matter. If that means we get 37 OTHER kids, or whatever the number turns out to be, their iPads, that's ALL that does matter. Cost of business. Plain and simple. In life, you cannot let the monster under the bed keep you from taking action.

We have to remember, as difficult as it is as parents (and remember, Heather and I were both former recipients too, we have an 'emotional' stake as well), to keep our emotions in check as much as possible and proceed with dignity and caution.

Things will unfold as they should. Have faith, in yourselves, in each other especially and the strength of this community, to stay strong and to stay focused on what matters the most.



  1. Another damn fine post.

    Tell Jen you're working hard for her family, too. You're showing your kids that what's right is worth working hard for and that we need to look out for each other, as well as our own. Epic lessons. Well done.

  2. Your a very smart man Ken. I'll try to stop being so skeptical. I was very trusting before all this. I applaud your efforts to make things right.

  3. To be fair...again I remind you...this is not the Ken Lilly Show, this is a group effort of four individuals, I am really The Mouth. The other three are WAY more the driving force than I am.

    I don't know how much more I can drive that point home, other than to say you already know Heather, and you will soon COME to know Maureen and Darcy. I was the last on board this train. The LAST.

    I am just the one writing the meeting notes here. I write. It's the thing I do.

    As for Jen, what I said was not supportive...to be perfectly fair, she has every right to be upset, it was Carter's birthday party this weekend, and I was very absent from it mentally, and it is his birthday today officially (I even forgot the exact DAY of it over the weekend, thought it was the 10th ;that is Bennett's], really the 12th, that is how wrapped up I have been in all this stuff).

    So I don't blame her at all.


    Jen = Totally Cool
    MiP = Heather, Maureen & Darcy are driving force, I came on board last. They spearheaded.


  4. I am the opposite of some. I was a skeptic who played along and my initial suspicion was confirmed. I tend to assume good things don't happen. So you may be doing more than just sending ipads - you (all of you) may be giving me the crazy idea that there are great things ahead.

  5. Remarkable. All of you. Can't wait to "meet" Mo and Darcy. Too legit to quit.

  6. Big thank you to Heather, Maureen, Darcy and Ken. You guys rock. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

  7. Ken, I've been talking to Heather, but been out of town and a little out of the loop!
    We were one of the first 40 winners. I already told Heather that I want Jax at the bottom of the list of the kids to get an I pad from your new plan. Although I was super excited, Jax is extremely delayed, and the I pad would have been a long stretch at trying to get him to communicate with us. I know there are kids that are not as delayed, but have a hard time communicating, that need it more. But I want to help, so let me know how!

  8. This is Joyce. You know Ken, I just hoped on for the first time today. I thank my lucky stars I have legitimate things to keep me 110% occupied Tuesday thru Saturday. I just read thru 154 comments on Ellen's original post on Sunday. My conclusion...now I'm having a hard believeing anybody. Good grief now Paypal is to blame. Who really is Darce and Mo? Do we know them from blogland? Kelly G. I don't belive a word she is saying because when I click on her profile it goes no where. The other supposed winners, probably fake names too. No blogs to follow. No pictures to verify. No stories to read. But then we have been reading about Marissa for sometime with pictures and now I don't even believe she is real. I hate this feeling. What used to be such an inspiration and source of validation to my life has become another source of stress. And who needs more of that.

    Ok done ranting. Tell Jen we love her and thank her for sharing you with us all.

  9. I like your blogs, Ken. Just sorry I had to find them on such unfortunate terms! As I said in email, I am very appreciative of how your group is turning this heavy, emotionally stressful situation around.

    Well, can only speak for myself - I'm a "winner" but not a blogger. I have a blog account from when we moved our family from one part of the country to another and wanted to keep the family in the loop. That was in 2006 and the blog is long gone.

    I'm on facebook with a few of these "established" bloggers and twitter (@jwbar)... And verifiable on both with pictures and snippets of my daily life!

  10. Joyce, I don't think Kelly was on Blogger before any of this. When you click on "KellyG" you'll see she joined July 2011, probably just for the purpose of commenting on these blogs.
    There is a Kelly Gulich on facebook from Fairfax, VA. She looks like the same Kelly that's in Mike's pictures, but I don't really know that for sure.

  11. Emma: Thanks, that's a sweet sentiment.

    SD: How the Hell should I know?

    FN: Can't wait to intro them 'officially'.

    erika: Will do!

    Lacey: Understood. Did you get a chance to e-mail me yet so I can get your name into my recipient folder? I just want to have a head count. I think that was yesterday's post.

    MicJen: Thanks! Same question...gonna need the down-low via the e-mail. When you get a chance. Danka.

  12. Joyce: My head is spinning too, or was.

    But, Maureen and Darcy are very much real. You just aren't familiar with them yet because they aren't a part of the Special Needs Community. I spent an hour on the phone with Maureen this afternoon commiserating about LOST being off the air.

    That's up to you to believe me or not about that, they are new friends of mine, really the sad part is that Trust is shattered across the board here, and that you can only take someone at their word. Have I given you reason to doubt me in our history? I hope not.

    As for the whole thing going on about the other stuff? I could literally spend a week, maybe a month, dissecting each and every statement, every e-mail, every post, every comment, show conflicting this, give opinions on why this and that don't add up and keep going and going and going and you know what? Even if I felt I had explained it all to some level of satisfaction?

    Tomorrow something ELSE would happen that I would have to then deal with or try to wrap my head around.

    And besides, why feed it? Sometimes, I think that's part of the problem. The more we talk about it, the more we play into it, the more it will continue. Step right up, folks, the circus is in town!!!

    Because we have history and we're buds and also because I wanted to defend Mo and Darce I spoke out a little more personally, though I need to be a bit more reticent about that stuff, but I really have tried to stay away from that outwardly.

    There has, though, been something extraordinarily wonderful in all this dark that I should mention...and I'll use a LOST analogy since it is on my mind. I have had more of relationship with all of this like Jack did in the Season 6 'Dr. Linus' episode when he sat with Richard (ironically the name of one of my best friends, who I REALLY wish was around reading this lengthy shit).

    Richard had enough, wanted to end it all. Jack sat with him, while the wick of a stick of dynamite started to burn down toward the end. Jack told Richard no way...if Jacob brought him here, to this island, then it had to be for a reason, and that reason could NOT be to be blown to bits by a stick of dynamite, so he didn't believe it was going to explode.

    Richard got nervous, but Jack was steadfast and resolute. He just closed his eyes and waited. The wick fizzled out at the last second.

    Jack smiled and said.

    'You wanna try another stick?'

    That's where my head is at right now.

  13. Ken, we've spoken at length in email and you are on my Facebook.

  14. Go over to Ellen's blog and take a look at the list I just questioned? Had that thought planted in my head tonight at a meeting(of quilters) with a psychologist in the group who deals with multiple personality disorders. For grins and chuckles thought I'd check it out. Sure enough, there does seem to be a pattern. It could explain something here. Not saying SNAvenger is part of it, but it fits the description of not being linked to anything that we can easily verify.

    on another note: you lost me with lost. never watched the show. not even once. sorry, iknow that is one of your favorites.

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  16. I have to say, at this point, there is a certain degree of attention whoring. Any Normal person (I use that term VERY loosely) in the wrong would have stepped away from the trainwreck by now. But the fact that we are continuing to engage him, that he is still commenting and creating stunts to continue this mess, continuing to try to play the victim and create sympathy for his plight...well, it just screams to me of someone who enjoys attention, any attention, even negative attention. I'm not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV (sorry, don't get that LOST explanation either. Always felt lost when I tried to watch it!).
    Go to the light, people!!!

  17. Amen, Finding Normal! I think we need to take a hint from the Amish and SHUN this man.

  18. Just got caught up on everything with the marissasbunny stuff since I have been out of the loop the past several days. Read all of the stuff over at Ellen's blog too. Wow. I must admit, contrary to the good advice of another blogger, I trusted someone I did not know and donated to the site.

    I want to thank you, Heather, Maureen, and Darcy for what you are trying to do. I also can't believe you are taking this on with all of the other stuff going on in your life.

    And I loved the Lost analogy :)

    Kevin Jordan

  19. So Mike is now claiming that he's lost his job? This story makes no sense! How could his employers, who were allegedly so generous as to match donations, suddenly be so mean as to fire him?

    Also, how can the iPads be simultaneously shipped and not shipped? What are they - Schrödinger's laptops which vanished as soon as someone checked to see if they were in the box or not?

    I totally agree with your summation of the situation, and I'm glad that you're trying to make things right.

    Gods only know where the money originally sent to Mike has gone, though.

  20. Is Baratron a Transformer? If not it should be? Would make a great Transformer name! And hey...you are trying to make sense of the unmakeablesenseable...or something. Yeah, that's it.

    Hey Kevin, thanks not only for mentioning the T-E-A-M, but also for having my back over at LoveThatMax. I've stayed out of it in the Comments, but I finally felt like I was somebody when I was accused of being an alias. But I appreciate you sticking up for me.

    I finally felt like I mattered! WOOHOO!

    As for the LOST analogy. I know it did not make sense to some. The short answer (GASP A SHORT ANSWER FROM KEN) is that it is an metaphor for Jack finally accepting his Faith in why he was brought to the island. He resisted from the very beginning the whole notion of it being something more meaningful...he was a man of Science, no WAY was any of this meant to be.

    By that last season, he had changed. The dynamite scene was the last piece of the puzzle in his head, he had finally accepted it. He let the fuse burn down, absolutely, positively believing that there was no way that the fuse would go all the way and blow up the stick of dynamite because he would not accept that this was all for nothing.

    He shut his eyes (ala prayer?) and the fuse went out.

    It's a faith metaphor, that's all. And perhaps a statement of some changes I have started to see from within myself.

    That wasn't short, wasn't.


  21. Psychopathic bunnies aside, I can't frickin believe you told me how Lost ends!!! Wow, was planning on blowing a good many hours of my life on that. Dude, spoiler alert me next time. Love your blog,though.


  22. Whoa! Hold on there...I did not tell you how LOST ends. While I get the 'Spoiler Alert' suggestion, that's really hard to do on something that has been out a for a few years already.

    However, on a show like LOST? Since you haven't watched it before let me say this. Telling you that Jack finds his faith? Is like me telling you that Batman decides to wear a costume that looks like a bat. It's one part of the story, and while a significant one, not a 'spoiler' in the true sense of the word that it destroys the enjoyment of watching the ultimate finale of one of the most complicated TV shows in the history of the Known Universe.

    Please know that what I said does not in any way reveal the ending of the show, simply one aspect of one characters story arc.

    I will keep the 'Spoiler Alert' in mind next time though, especially when I talk about The Empire Strikes Back, so people can think Luke and Leia sucking face isn't so OOGIE and that Vader isn't Luke's Dad.



  23. I have been staying out of the comments-gone-wild as well. I am so happy you four are taking this on. It's been something to feel good about amidst all the crap that's been flung around.

  24. I'm not a Transformer, nope. Actually, a Baratron® is the name of a pressure-sensor made by a company called MKS. It's kinda a long story....

    Oh, and as for who I am - I've been reading the Schuyler's Monster blog for a good few years now, and recently found Single Dad, Disabled Daughter from it. Read the whole thing over a couple of nights, so I feel like I know who you are - but as I haven't got round to commenting on anything yet, neither you nor Single Dad know who I am. Weird.

  25. Hope you know I was just funnin' ya.

  26. Baratron:
    Darn, here I was hoping you could take my to Cybertron (i need a vacation)...but tormenting Chem students sounds kinda fun!

    Well NOW I do! :O I was scared S-less It'd been less than a day since I'd made some new Net-Buds and already I'd skeeved some of them screaming for ze hills...


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