Lando the Lost
Calrissian said it best.
'Yes he's alive...and in perfect hibernation.'
Barely. If you managed to sneak a photo of me of late, I might actually be on my back, hands up, palms forward, with a grimace on my face, awaiting transport to Jabba the Hutt. I feel frozen.
Lots of reasons why.
And frankly, I am not really ready to take a bite out of it yet. You ever get like that? Any of you that blog I mean? You just have a whole shitload of stuff that you have that is jacking you up and you want to release it, but you just can't and until you do there just isn't anything you can really do in THIS space that will satisfy?
BUT...I get e-mails. I even get calls now. People thinking I may be dead or something. Throat does feel like shit though I can tell you that. Went to the ENT yesterday, and he explained it to me. Gave me the skinny. See, the Lord did not see fit to give me exaggerated height, big feet or an elongated...sense of self. No, the only enlarged thing on me I got, other than my gut (well, actually, I think that one is MY fault) is an over-sized set of tonsils.
SO large, says the ENT, that the holes he cut are still in some earlier stages of healing from the 'inside-up' as he called it. Which is why there is still pain, still discomfort, still a fucked-up burned flesh taste in my mouth and a generally poor disposition.
And he tells me that it will still be quite a while for this whole shitty mess to heal up since, his words...'You have, well, HAD, some of the biggest tonsils I've ever seen.'
And since I am feeling generally crappy about my pathetic existence and where I am in LIFE overall after having turned 44 yesterday, or rather...where I am NOT in LIFE...I am going to show why this WHOLE thing started in the first place.
Now, you don't HAVE to look...that's the beauty of it.
But I am going to post the photos of what I call 'The Thing' that was stuck in one of my tonsils for days until one afternoon, and I can't remember exactly when this was but it was maybe last winter, I used a bunch of menthol stuff and other techniques you do NOT want to hear about to get myself to gag 'The Thing' out.
If you click the images below, you will see it.
BUT THAT IS YOUR DECISION.
It was not totally soft, not totally hard either. When I squeezed it, it would not break apart. It had mass. The ENT, when shown the photos later, said it was a tonsil stone that had begun to get fungal/bacterial. And you do NOT want to know what the smell was like. It was...unfathomable.
It was this unholy terror that got me seeing the aforementioned ENT and on a path toward discovery of my LPR and the fact that I had these giant tonsils that, he told me when I first met him, had 'gills'. The gills just kept getting bigger, because stuff like 'The Thing' would get trapped in there, and stay small at first...then...grow...if I did not expel them.
Yup...welcome to HELL, Fish-Boy!!!
But the Gilly's are gone now. Hopefully that won't be happening again.
I will just be glad when I can yawn and it doesn't feel like someone is sticking a fist down my throat.