Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The More Things Change
Today was an Election Day here. I did not vote. I did not care.
What does that say about me?
Did my one turn as an attempted citizen sour me so much on the experience that I am now no longer really qualified to call myself an American? I dunno. Some might think so. I might think so.
I just...well, why repeat myself?
I realize that this is a terrible thing to say, and an example for my kids that I absolutely, positively do not want to set.
But I'm tired. Tired of the rhetoric and the BS that does nothing for our economy while two very different groups will not work together to help each other as each struggles and maneuvers for control and domination and things go from bad to worse...to worse-worse.
Tired of watching all the bills go up, tired of watching my wife work for a company that takes her for granted and hasn't given her a raise in four years. Tired to have made such terrible choices in my own life involving career to where I am now, at 44, in a world of confusion over what in the world I am supposed to do to somehow change direction as I eek out a living doing...the things I am doing.
I'm just tired. Struggling is hard, and it takes a lot of the energy out of a lot of things, not the least of which is my marriage, which always suffers from it. That's true in typical and non-typical households. Money, and/or lack thereof, strains everything.
Financial considerations forced me a week ago to cancel a trip to Arkansas to see my Mom for Thanksgiving. That was a huge, HUGE emotional setback. I wanted to see her. She wanted to see me. I smelled MASSIVE, down-home rejuvenation. Or was that manure?
But times are just too damn tough.
For a LOT OF PEOPLE.
But you know what? I do remember to count my blessings. And I am going to put together my List of Fifty Things. It is November after all. And I do have fifty. Hell I have more than fifty. And one of them is that despite being stuck here in Columbus and what that forces my career into...I cannot ignore, not for a second, and must stand in AWE at how good Bennett's benefits are.
I know of no one who has it as good as he does when it comes to Therapy hours.
One of these days, I will have to tell the VERY long story as to how that all went down. Apparently, is is NOT because of where we live. It is much, MUCH more complex than I ever imagined.
Anyway, I'm done with today's bitch-fest. I needed one. Although I try to focus on the positives in life more these days, occasionally I need to vent too. This is, after all, my digital, and totally free of charge, head shrinker.
And the doctor is ALWAYS in.