Friday, December 30, 2011

Mice. Men. Doesn't Really Matter Does It?

They are still the best laid plans and they always seem to go awry don't they?

John Lennon was definitely not a stupid man. At all. I'll get back to that.

My plans for so many things got blown to Hell and gone this week. The stomach virus I caught earlier kept me from writing about how I took a 3-9 Fantasy Football team from last place to a Super Bowl Championship. A fascinating Cinderella story.

Sorry, Elizabeth and Claire, I know you are both deeply, deeply disappointed.

I was not able to write what I wanted about my 9th Anniversary to my wife Jennifer, which was on Tuesday the 27th, and since she had the same virus, we did not even celebrate it.

Sadly, we do not have a Love Toilet.

In fact, right before the graphics card on my computer crapped out, so to speak, I was working on something for her that was SUPER cool for the occasion. Had to stop because I could not do it on my laptop. Needed the desktop power and the monitor capabilities.

I got so behind because of the virus and then our Home Health Aide's mom had to go to the hospital for 2 days with pneumonia so Crystal was out and I had to watch the kids for 2 days (one of which Jen and I sort of tag-teamed cause we were both on Day 2 of the virus) so I got even MORE behind on blogging stuff. So the 'Best Of' thing I was trying to finish for 2011?'s fifty/fifty now, at best.

In fact, all month long, all this winter even, delays and sidetracking have plagued me, the PLAGUE. I was SO CLOSE to finishing the year with my 500th post. How frakkin' COOL would that have been? Instead, it's going to be ending with either Post #494 or #495 or something.

Well, I guess it gives me something RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE to look forward to in 2012, right?

Of course, there was also my Mom's thing that I got denied on. That was also just before the computer took a dooky and stopped me from finishing something for my Mom's Christmas gift that I was working on in Photoshop. Again...laptop limitations meant I could not finish it.

These days, I have to really think about what I get my Mom as gifts, because she pretty much has whatever she wants or needs, and she just doesn't like to have as much 'stuff' as she used to. She's streamlined a lot of the junk in her life right out the door.

So when it comes to giving, it either has to be something impersonal, like a gift card or something of that sort, or I need to go the consumables or perishables route. Typically, I like to reserve consumables for Mother's Day, the birthday, stuff like that, but even that is a little tougher because she likes to have a tighter control over the stuff she eats.

Thankfully they ship some damn nice fresh fruit nowadays. Of course, there are always flowers. That's always a decent standby, but to me, flowers are sort of a last resort.

There is some difficulty in settling in on what road to go down when it comes to Momgifts, especially if I want to express anything sentimental, because, like I said, she is trying to not hold on to so much 'crap'. Making a piece of art is not an option so much anymore either, since a lot of the art I have given her has found its way back to me since she got her diagnosis.

She wants to make sure it ends up with me in case...well, in case.

It may seem strange to talk about 'The Diagnosis', since I haven't in a really, really long time, and I don't bring it up much in these pages, but that's only because you gotta know something about my Mom. Ever since she found out, ever since I found out, the simple fact of the matter is that my Mom has exceptional reaction.

She has been one of the most upbeat, positive, uplifting people I have ever seen.

Rather than folding like a lawn chair, she is living her life as if nothing has changed, but also as if everything has changed. I'm not quite sure how to explain what that means, I know it might not make a lot of sense to most people. But that postivity rubs off on people, and on me, and so we don't dwell in it.

And that is a good thing.

Wish I could offer a better explanation than that. It get it, but I am seeing it, experiencing it. But as is the case when I am so vested emotionally in something, I find I can't quite express what I am trying to the way I want the most.

I'm proud of her.

Yeah, sometimes she drives me nuts, as I do her, because she can be stubborn about some things, but at the end of the day? I admire her cajones, her chutzpah, but not as the word is used in the traditional Yiddish in regards to insolence, rather along the lines of how it has morphed into a reference to 'intestinal fortitude'.

So the smaller, more manageable gift for Mom sits on my desktop hard drive, inaccessible to me, and as Time keeps ticking by, and the Graphics Card is still not going to be here until sometime next week, AND since my Mom is hip deep in an entirely different struggle with another member of our family in the hospital that I am not certain she wants me writing all the details about, I figured I would try to reach out some way in the digital world.

So I started loading a bunch of photos into Facebook of Christmas memories gone by for her to enjoy, and Thanksgivings, too. I've peppered some of them through this post. As the NYE weekend progresses I'll insert as many more as I can get retouched and uploaded. I can't scan any of the ones in 'The Stack', because the Espon Scanner Driver won't load into the Laptop (fuggin' VISTA), just the printer driver. So I'm going with stuff I already have in the Laptop.

I know it isn't ideal, Mom, but maybe, through your own Laptop, you can peruse some pictures while you are in the waiting room or in the hospital room itself, remember some good times long gone, and look forward to more memories that are still out there, yet to be created.

The other gift I was working on?

I'll save it for next Christmas. And in the meantime, just take care of yourself, pat yourself on the back, and remember you raised a pretty good son, warts and all. ;)

Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age.
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go.
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go.
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand.
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.

Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer.
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy.

-John Lennon

Hang in there, Mom. Merry Christmas.



  1. Beautiful, beautiful post Ken. Really and truly.

  2. If I were your mom, I would think your words were possibly the greatest gift I'd ever received other than the baby himself.

    Love to you and your mom. Love to all the Zilly clan.

  3. wow..i know mom loved this post..i wish i had your apptitude for words..hope your next year is bette than the last and that every year gets to you an yours..
    your sister.


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