Monday, January 2, 2012

I'm About to Lose It

As beautiful and warm and sweet as Heather's first blog of the year was for 2012 is, mine is...not going to be.

I don't know how she does it, to be honest. 347 kids in the house all at the same time? Unreal.

I've only got two, and right now they are driving me fuggin' crazy. Bennett goes back to school tomorrow. Carter the day after. Thank God too, because any longer and I might be jumping off my roof.

Scratch that. Since it was not built properly and leaks like the Titanic, it would likely not support my weight long enough for me to leap.

Bennett keeps repeating the word 'Asshide'. Which either means he really doesn't like me, or all he wants to do is get the Hell out of here. It's his word for 'Outside', which he REALLY wants to get to, but its cold, its windy, and I can't take him 'Asshide'.

Carter doesn't help a lot since he is bored, both his original X-Box (non 360) controllers are broken, I can't find replacements, he has lost more Lego pieces that I have lost hairs, and he tweaks Bennett all day long.

Bennett's also getting much bolder now. And into way more things than ever before. I have to entirely rethink some of the household configurations. And I haven't the first clue. He's not a child anymore, so 'Child Safety' stuff does not apply, he can snap 'Child Safety' stuff like its nothing. But he can get access to kitchen areas now and the like very easily and I have to figure out how to deny him.

He needs his routine back. He isn't so exploratory, aggressive, or self-abusive (yeah, that has been a bit more commonplace this past week say the bruises and bite marks up and down his arm) when he has that. Truth is, if we could just freakin' TALK to each other, it would make a huge difference.

I just keep telling myself to hold on.

To what? I have no idea. ;) To them, most of the time.



  1. Booze and medication, that's my secret.

    Seriously, your post made me smile. Not because I was receiving some sick pleasure from your crazed out state of mind, but because this post was SO you. Honest, straight forward and so blogzillyish. I like that.

    Routine is good. I crave it, I really do. And, I would like to have more than a 5 minute shower to myself, uninterrupted, every now and again, I really would. Also, those 347 kids in my house and my husband, do drive me out of my mind from time to time. Promise.

  2. Yep..."holidays" soooo suck in disability land.

  3. I for one am glad to see 2011 in the rear-view mirror. Sorry about the kiddos ........ did you say Bennett is utilizing expressive language? Here's praying you don't see a plateau for several years!!!

  4. I found out last week that my boys go back to school tomorrow, but Sophie has ANOTHER WEEK OFF. It's only here, in Blogzillyland, and other blogs like yours that I can admit that a whole 'nother week with my dear daughter is something that I dread.


  5. Been there with the self-abusive behaviors. My daughter still has scars on her wrists from the bites. The good news, at least for us, was that once she got a more formal communication system in place, the self-abuse has pretty much stopped. What I mean by formal communication system is that she learned some signs (not a lot) and I learned to read her every micro-expression and act accordingly. Did you ever see the show Lie To Me? That's me reading her micro expressions...

  6. Yup I also totally get the self abusive behavior thing and wish Zac could communicate better. He starts hitting himself when he can't get his point across. Hopefully things with Bennett will continue to improve.

    And "asshide" made me laugh out loud :)


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