Saturday, January 14, 2012

OK, I'm Cheating

Not THAT kind of cheating.

I actually went back and deleted a post that nobody cared about, one of the many about those block figures I love so much that, frankly, just don't belong here anymore, in order to make THIS post NOT be the 500th post of this blog.


Because all of my Blogbuddies are talking about this article and posting about it and spreading the news about this and so I wanted to also join in.

It's amazing, mind-blowing article about the absolute worst the medical community, and perhaps humanity, has to offer. Some people in a hospital apparently taking the position of stating they will not perform an organ transplant on the disabled daughter of the author because she is 'Mentally Retarded'.

You just have to read it.

Me? I'm having a weekend from Hell. But my son is having it much worse.

Bennett is slamming his head into pretty much anything and everything. He's hitting and biting and beside himself with...whatever it is that is driving his emotional state through the friggin' roof.

SO...I probably WON'T be finishing the 500th post this holiday weekend, OR my Fruitless Pursuit offering, OR my iPost about Helene's receipt of the iPad from Mission 2 at Mission iPossible (which I do have pictures and text for (thanks Suzie!), OR the announcement of Mission 3 (which we are ready to start, we have the funds now for I believe 6 iPads collected, yup you heard me...SIX).

But all of that has to wait. I have to try to take care of my own right now because right now my family is tearing itself to shreds.

Gonna work through it. Gonna figure out a way.

Because my weekend is nothing compared to what others in my family are going through. I'd like to take a minute to say a couple of words about the passing of my Uncle Lloyd. He died yesterday in Arkansas. My Mother was at his side, has been for weeks, as he finally lost his battle to lung cancer.

Of my mother's brothers, Lloyd is the one I knew the least. Mostly because of location, he just always lived furthest away from wherever it was that we lived. So I can't speak much about the man, since I hardly knew Lloyd, I can only speak about my Mother, whom you know I admire, and love, and worry about, probably more than I should. The worry part...but you know what I meant.

That photo is an oldie but a goodie. It's my Dad there, my real Dad, who I never really knew, my Mom, my Grandmother, my Uncle Gary barely visible at far right, and Lloyd is there at the far left. It is the only photograph, or one of the few that I actually possess, of Lloyd.

These photos carry with them a certain weight now. So many people lost. Of the people in this picture that had or have any significance in my life, the only one left is my Mother.

One thing about my Mom. She never expects praise. Doesn't even care for it all that much. It's always been her way.

She's probably fairly uncomfortable with this particular blog section, to be honest. But these are my thoughts, my feelings, and I never really hold back. And why stop now, right?

But I have to say, that the way she was there for Lloyd these past few weeks was just...remarkable. Her and Ken (my stepfather) both. And my Mom's other brother too, who I could write a novel about (the man is so interesting), but suffice it to say they all stepped up to the plate in ways that...well, in ways that are just...who they are.

And that's maybe the greatest compliment of all, when it comes right down to it.

At the core they are simply...good people.

A sharp, sharp contrast to the type of folks in that article, yes?



  1. i love the way you speak about our mother.your so right about her but you say it in such an eloquent way.I wish i could help you with what your giong thru,i cant say i understand because i dont i can only say i am sending you my thoughts and my prayers.

  2. So sorry Ken, about Lloyd. Sorry for your mom who stayed steadfast and true, at his side, till the end. Sorry for the sadness this brings to you all. Loss, and the world keeps spinning.

    And yes, spins out of control, in many places. Like that flipping hospital in Philadelphia.Unbelievable. Which that word, for that particular madness, is an understatement.

    Sending peace to you and yours my friend. Especially to your mom and to precious Bennett, on this weekend and beyond.

  3. The article about CHOP just reminds me that hospitals are somewhat like people. Some are cold, calculating and appear to have lost their way. Others are caring, comforting and embrace the ones placed into their care.Our family was fortunate with the hospital caring for our loved one. We were surrounded with such pure love and compassion.This demeanor was felt as soon as the automatic door opened and you entered. It never stopped...even at the end. Thank you to my son and daughter for their support during this journey. I am so blessed!!!!

  4. Sorry to hear of the matters in your house and family Ken. You definately have a pile deeper than most right now. Somehow though you have managed to secure money for six iPads?!!! Thinking of you.

  5. Hey my friend, I may be absent right now...but you and yours are in our prayers verbally every night. Good news, made my first eBay sale, netted $0.09! Awesome!!

  6. Self injury is very VERY addicting because it you get positively reinforced each time you do it.

    Maybe since B is unable to communicate his thoughts/emotions he is using this way to transfer the inner pain/fustration to outter pain. Inner pain/futration feels like its never going to go away. But if you bite your arm you know the pain will not last forever.

    Just a sugestion, help him out by adding the appropriate emotions that go with getting injured.

    Verbalize "OW! that hurts" Later when he has calmed, offer a "ouch that looks like it hurts" Reinforce this with each episode.

    One thing that about working with boys is they respond better to you if you sit down next to them and talk to them from the shoulder to shoulder position. All boys learn better in from that angle.

    Boys/men take the face to face eye to eye contact as an aggressive stance, so don't use it unless you are disaplining.

    (interesting side note:Girls/women learn better with the face to face approach...which is why us wifey type's are in our hubbys faces all the time driving them nutty)

    Peace be the journey

  7. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this grief and loss. I'm especially sorry to hear about Bennett and the head-banging. I'm sending you courage and strength. Courage and strength, courage and strength, courage and strength.

  8. Sorry to hear about Bennett's current state, and about your uncle. Cancer is not a nice disease for anyone. I hope that things will improve for you soon.

    Congratulations on Mission 3. That is awesome! And hey, at least the Ravens are winning at halftime!



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