Round and Round
OK, so the CT Scan results are in.
I'm not dying. Is it wrong to almost wish that I was? Forget I said that. Bottome line is this. Here is the official read. My secum is lower on the right than on the left, probably because of my appendectomy. It is putting pressure on my bladder and is in an odd location. The doctor says that it could be a source of pain in my abdomen but it is not likely.
Can someone please just kill me now and get this over with?
OK, so here is what I know. I am having pain in my abdomen, my pelvis, my hips, my back, tingling and numbness and hot lava in my arms and legs, but mostly legs. My BALLS (there, I said it), hurt from time to time and they retract. When I bend over, my right abdomen hurts.
I believe and have always believed I have a two-pronged problem here. One related to the abdomen/pelvis/hips. One related to the discs and nerves in my back. Problem is that I think I am the only one on this planet who thinks so.
I've had two tests, and MRI and a CT. In the MRI it was shown that I had:
A) A slight, though not major, disc herniation.
B) The same disc degeneration that I have had since 2004-2005.
C) Bulge in the herniated disc pushing against that alien looking large white nervy thing that goes up and down your spine.
D) Signs of arthritis in my lower back. Hereditary. Can't be avoided. Well, the good news is by the time my back REALLY starts to fail they will have perfected the disc replacement surgery instead of fusing vertebrae.
The Ortho who read that MRI said it didn't appear serious enough to be causing the level of pain I am describing. And yet, I am in a serious level of pain.
Had a CT Scan. It is showing some odd abnormality in the right side, and I have described some symptoms of pain in my right side. And lest ye not forget that way back when the Physical Therapist did say that my right pelvic bone is angled outward and my right leg has really awkward and limited mobility and the bulk of my lower back pain is mostly focused on the right side.
AND YET because the scan, I suppose, was not overtly showing some major Alien Chestburster in there, whatever that abnormality is I suppose is not enough to be causing me the level of pain I am describing.
And yet, with this situation as well I am in a serious level of pain. So much so for both circumstances that I, who have been trying to get OFF medications and am off of several I was on months ago have been taking a LOT of Vicodin for the last couple of months.
So the real question is...NOW what?
Is it truly just all in my head?
I do not know. I only know that it is maddening and frustrating. I fucking HATE this. It is like being attacked by an assailant that takes a swing at me and by the time I am able to turn around and hit back, the sumbitch is gone. So I am more angry and looking for something to pound.
Speaking of medication, that Lamictal that I am taking now? One side effect that you can have is insomnia and...you'll never believe it. LOWER BACK PAIN. And both have started to happen. The insomnia is SHIT. especially when I almost NEVER have trouble sleeping. And the back pain has just been ratcheted up a notch.
But again...probably all in my head. I'm convinced now that I am simply insane and none of you actually exist. You are all just AI in a really crappy video game I am stuck playing over and over.