Friday, June 1, 2012
I promised myself I would try something.
Whatever I could to break out of this horrific slump I am in. And it is horrific. Lately I am the Goatee-Wearin' Mirror Universe Anti-King Midas.
Everything I touch turns into a steaming pile of shit.
Laptop crapped out recently. I mention that? And as of yesterday our house AC appears to have shit the bed. Brakes on my car, yadda, yadda, yadda...the HMS Lilly has sprung so many holes she is seemingly starting to not only list, but we are drifting far off course and sinking.
It's a slow process, and the bilge pumps are working on overdrive...but how long will they hold?
Lots of fighting in the house. Petty bickering. Anger. Resentment. Fear. Frustration.
But there's love, too. And hope. You just have to turn a lot of cushions over and sift through the half-eaten Cheerios, 6-month old popcorn and lost coins to find it.
What will I do? What can I?
Could be worse, I know that. My next door neighbor's wife died on Sunday. 45 years old. From a Staph infection. Sudden, unexpected grenade just went off in his life. I know what that's like. He looked hollowed out yesterday at the calling hours. Man...I felt so bad for him.
All I plan to do now is write. Every day. For thirty days. Other than that? I have a lot of things to try and figure out.
Writing won't solve any of my problems, and Hell, it isn't like I have tons of time spilling out of my pockets.
So why do it?
Just to see if I even can anymore.