Friday, September 28, 2012
In Case Anyone Cares
And according to my Mom, people do, I should let people know that I am out of town.
I am in fact visiting her at the moment.
She was surprised to see how...what's the word I am looking for? How bleak I have become of late. How stressed and how on the ragged edge I really am. 'Shell-shocked' was a word that came up. As much as I don't enjoy exposing her to these aspects of me, what better place to be than right here, right now though, right?
If I ate chicken, I'd be having her make me some chicken soup. Instead, maybe something with fish or tofu.
In the meantime, it is time to do what I did last year and try to get a battery recharge and sort through what is, without a doubt, some of the darkest garbage that is in my head I have ever had.
She asked me why I haven't been blogging. I just said 'Mom, sometimes, I just feel like I don't have anything good in my head, in my life, to share, and why always go over the same old crap over and over? Besides, I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter much anymore.'
My Mom, who is so positive, one of her strengths, just felt so bad and said, 'Isn't there anything positive in any given day that you CAN focus on? There has to be, right?'
I said there was, there always was, but I am always just so tired.
We talked a lot more, and we will continue to, and I am in a good place to get some much needed healing.
I don't have access to my regular e-mail, so if anyone is trying to get in touch with me, you'll have to use Facebook or gMail. I can't get my Outlook to work on this laptop right now. She hasn't been properly broken in.
Maybe I'll check in a bit later, maybe not. But at least I feel a little better, and that's a good thing.