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Showing posts from April, 2012

Ballistic

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As I was driving Bennett to school this morning, I started to turn the Lillymobile off of Interstate 71 to take 270 toward my Psychiatrist's office. He's a great doc, as I have mentioned before, and he stacks my appointment with Bennett's now, so I told Bennett we were going to see Daddy’s Doctor because he seemed nervous.

Told him not to worry, we went there before, it was OK then, remember, and all that. It was for Daddy, not Bennett. Last time I did that it calmed him down a lot.

Not this time.

He freaked. He early choked himself on the seatbelt trying to get out of the carseat. I was petrified he might actually try to get out of the car itself. Now I have to start trying to figure out how to have him more forcefully restrained in the car AND have the doors more secured from the inside. I don't know how at this point, but at least for today, for the ride how tonight, I will have to rig something until I can find something that is 'official'.

I don't …

Dem Bones

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OK, so the scoping of my throat got pushed to April 18th because of a surgery that my ENT had that conflicted with my April 2nd date. BUT, the good news is that I have had a man with his hands on my butt for the past couple of weeks. My back too.

The Physical Therapist has a soft, yet firm touch, so we've decided to start seeing each other regularly. At least for therapy.

Well, it started out that way.

But as you would expect, like many of my relationships he has quickly sent me away. In the middle of Session #3, with his hands on my right butt-cheek as he was working my spasming ass muscles, he basically said 'Well, since there hasn't been any improvement in flexibility or pain level since we started this I think you need to go back to your doctor and think about getting some kind of scan done.'

Imagine that?


I think I should have been set up for that from the get-go, but like I said before, I am no Dr. House.

My PT did his evaluation and determined my spine had so…

Of Mice and Mirrors

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You know, I was poking around the blog today and looking at the posts from Days Gone By. Not really for content, more for just overall consistency and quantity. I can't stand the fact that what used to be so effortless for me, so fluid, has become so clunky and difficult.

And I can't figure out why.

Circumstances have changed, but not so radically, and how far back does it go? There has always been some...excuse though, hasn't there? Some reason that I CAN'T. That says something about either me, or it says something about how I feel about what it is I am doing. Or there could be an option 3 in there I just haven't stumbled across yet.

I once prided myself on months where I had double-digit post counts. Then I barely ever hit them. For a time I got back to it, but I always seem to circle back to struggling with it. There is an answer, to the question of 'Why?', at the very tip of my consciousness. It is RIGHT there, I can feel it. I can touch it with the ti…

Cutting Room Floor

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I've often wondered about something that came up while reading comments from some of the regular readers and commentators, and I thank you all, regarding the last home movie I posted of Bennett and I interacting and his use of the phrase 'My Turn.' and his handling of the song 'Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes'.

In fact, I was discussing it with Richard on the phone (Dora's Daddy) the other day at length...regarding what I show and do not show of Bennett overall within the pages of this blog.

Editing is everything, and I am wondering sometimes if I am painting a complete picture of who he is. But then again I often ask myself, do I WANT to paint a complete picture of who he is? It is a dilemma I wrestle with.

When it comes to me, I am not sure that it matters so much. I don't have many secrets, and yet, even with as much as I am prone to share, even I have a few left in my pockets. Some I intend to talk about at some point, some that I never intend to. Bu…