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Showing posts from May, 2012

Needles

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Bad weekends? I've had a few.

Were I to rank this past weekend, while it would not take the top slot, I'm fairly sure it would break into the top 5. As I sit here, contemplating the events in the quiet aftermath of it all, attempting to maintain a perspective on Life and Everything That Comes Along With It, there are parts of me that wonder what I will be like in 5 years. In 10. In 15.

If my mood and my being is so tightly bound to Bennett, how bitter and angry will I be by that time? How resentful?

If things do not change, I think I will not recognize the person sitting in this chair, writing these words. There are times today that I look at the guy from three years ago who started this thing and I don't know who that person is either.

Jen and I decided not to give Bennett any more Strattera today. According to the label, the website and any other 'official' info, it takes 4-6 weeks to have any effect. Well, not according to message boards, forums and blogs. And …

Casualties

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Most people tend to think that when I go underground, when I disappear for lengths at a time, that things aren't going well.

They are correct.

What's interesting is that if you look at the number of posts overall, over the course of the couple of years I have been doing this, whenever I drop to single digits per month it is always tied to Bennett's issues. Always. And yet, when things were VERY bad, I mean at their WORST with him, my post count was at its ZENITH. I can't quite explain that.

Not sure what it means.

I think it has something to do with accumulation. The weight of too many things over too long of a span of time.

A rolling stone gathers no moss, and at that time there were a few other things that I had that kept me feeling more upbeat. More hopeful. Remember, at least at that time, I looked at Bennett the way I would my car. I thought the surgery would be like taking my car to the shop. Pop that tumor out and then everything was going to be fine.

Doesn'…

More Fun Butt Stories

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Yes I know, they make people uncomfortable.

But this one is short and not nearly as intense as the one that involved my visit to the Emergency Room. Besides, it is just another example of how, when you are in a slump, things just have a way of going...the wrong way.

I have this ongoing issue with pain in my back. You know about that. Also in my groin and in my hips. It sucks. Blah. Blah. And a little more Blah.

I caved in a while ago and got on some strong pain medication while we try and figure out What The Hell is Wrong With Me. Besides all the stuff we know is wrong with me by reading the lunacy you see here within these pages on a semi-regular basis.

Tried some Physical Therapy. On that eval my spine showed scoliosis and my pelvis is being pulled by my right ass muscles outward and upward. No results of a positive nature during therapy which consisted of electricity, heat, cold, even traction and of course stretches and the like. Oh, and the gentle touch of a man's hands on …

Junior

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With apologies to Claire and Elizabeth, some of the following post is going to be about football.

But only some.

But Heather insisted that I start writing again, and who am I to say no to a dear friend? She says 'You need it.'

I suppose I do. Especially since Ohio still doesn't allow Medical Marijuana Cards. Bummer.

The post has a football-centric flavor but it also, however, touches on something I think all of us can relate to, and that is pain. The kind of pain that pushes a person beyond the brink, past a point from which there is no return. To that place where some people can find a tangible thing to cling to that prevents them from doing what Tiaina Baul Seau apparently did yesterday.

And that's taking your own life.

Seau, who you may know better as 'Junior', played most of his career for the San Diego Chargers (13 seasons) and he also played for the Dolphins and the Patriots. He is a first round ballot Hall of Fame player for sure, and he was THE defensi…