Showing posts from June, 2014


It's about access. Getting where you need to be, trying to get the info you want to know about. I've said recently I am hungry for new information.

I wasn't bullshitting. Do I ever. OK, I mean recently?

I've been looking for new stuff. Hardcore. Not PORN, you sicko. OK, maybe a little. Jokes aside, when you do research on Google or Bing or anywhere else, you run into a lot of things called 'abstracts'. An abstract (or research abstract) according to my good friend Wikipedia, is a brief summary of a research article, thesis, review, conference proceeding or any in-depth analysis of a particular subject or discipline, and is often used to help the reader quickly ascertain the paper's purpose.

And abstracts, at least insofar as it pertains to surfing for data as a Special Needs parent on the Internet, pardon my French, are FRUSTRATING AS SHIT.

The best analogy I can think of is that of a super hot woman, say, I don't know...lemme think, maybe a Scarlett J…

Holiday Road

Father's Day was yesterday.

Was in the midst of writing a post all about Bennett and his aggressive episodes. A take I haven't gone over before, and one that I need to get out, but tabled it. Some things to process about it. I am really lost in some aspects of treatment plans for him. And some of it? I don't know how some people do it.

As for the Father's Day holiday, we didn't do a lot here, and that statement is not one of disappointment. Need to point that out. I have very low expectations of Father's Day and that is by design and personal choice. Gone over that before too. But I can't find the post or I would link to it.

As for the day itself...Carter, my older son, who is nearly ten, drew me a cool personalized card with a cake on it and gave me a hat. Bennett was prompted to say 'Happy Father's Day!' from Jen, my wife, and it came out like 'Habby FahRah's Stay!' Not too bad for a first try. I'll take it.

They went for a lo…

Swinging in the Planet of the Apes

There is a reason why I don't take my family out much. A reason why most of the time, we tend to stay home, and out of the scrutiny of the public eye. I'm not a handy person whatsoever, and I mean NADA, and yet I purchased and built, with very little help from the wife (just enough to lift it when the time came) that swing set you see above, all by myself.

Why does the picture look so weird? I took it through a screened in window. Hey...I was making a statement. I may be a Special Needs Dad, and a wackjob, but the artist in me still has to come out from time to time. Sue me.

I built this monstrosity in the backyard of a home that I am renting so that my disabled son would have a place to play without being gawked at, stared at, laughed at and giggled at. Yet even here, you can see how exposed we does happen.

I think of all the things that happen when Bennett is around other people, though, nothing bothers me to watch more than what DOESN'T happen, and by that I …

A Birthday Wish to One of the Good Ones

Funny...I remember Eddie's birthday more often than I remember many of the birthdays of my friends who are still around. So I'm not sure what that should tell me.

It either means:

A) I'm a real bad friend.
B) I have a bad memory in general.
C) Eddie was just one of those super amazing, good people who got in your head, stuck there, and never, ever will go away, no matter how many years pass since he did.

The recent events that went down with my sister had Eddie on my mind a lot, as did a nugget of knowledge I received about my grandfather, who I never met. To me, this was all new info, but apparently my grandfather died at the age of 47 of a heart attack. This was years ago, before I was born, so no condolences please. My mother swears she told me this, and I believe her. I must have blocked it out.

I turn 47 this year.

That is what one refers to as food for thought. The only food, it seems, that is safe for me to eat these days. I'm certainly glad I quit smoking when…

Jail Time

As I attempt to wade through the wreckage of some of the more difficult aspects of this parenting/disability War Zone, I've reached the inescapable conclusion that most, maybe all, of the previous tactics I have been using to date have either been unsuccessful or I haven't been using them as forcefully as I should be.

And don't misunderstand the term 'force' there. I don't mean to infer a sort of physical FORCE, rather my meaning is that of I am not pressing as hard on the buttons I set up to try to initiate certain changes in Bennett's overall behavior. But after a while, you get...weary. This is some tiring shit.

I have a...yeah, I'll call him a friend, in the military, and just a second ago I started thinking 'Hm...should I really be comparing raising a child with multiple disabilities and severe aggression to fighting in war? Is that fair to a veteran like him?'

Thought about it...and I think it is.

No one is trying to kill me, yet. But man…