Sunday, October 26, 2014

Sorta Silent Sunday: Not As Silent As Intended


WAY back when I started this Sunday thing, I had a follow-up immediately scheduled. I had it so because I knew that I would need it. At the time, there were lots of transitions in Casa de Lilly. I even have (or had, because I just killed that old Blogger Draft), the sentence 'Get used to lots of images and not a lot of words for a while...Trying to figure some things out.'

Funny, that.

Because after two months, it remains true. Though I fed the blog with nothing at all to be perfectly clear. No images. Nothing. But the part about trying to figure things out...that remains exactly the same, though my location has altered.


I sit here in a rented condo, living alone, separated from Jennifer, my wife of nearly twelve years who I've known for longer still, as the Dissolution of our marriage looms over the raging seas of my life like the coming of a storm. I will be talking about this in future posts, she is cool with me discussing aspects of it all. I just don't feel up to it today.

The most startling thing to get accustomed to, which is all I want to say at the moment about the separation, is the total and complete sense of human singularity I feel when I am here in this place, and how punctuated it is whenever I think of my two sons and all of the things I have lost over the past several months. Think about any of it too much, and I begin to sink into levels of depression that rival periods in this blog that I never want to go back to.


It's a fight, plain and simple, to stay on a positive course.

But fight I will, because I have to.

Enjoy some pictures, taken over the course of the last two months. Sadly, many of the photos taken of the boys...I did not take myself. They are excellent photos though and I love looking at them. Sorry I have been out of touch. Life has been...a bit on the crazy side.












Until next time...

OUT.

9 comments:

  1. Things will get better. Keep your head up and your determination strong!!

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  2. I'm thinking of you. Your boys are gorgeous -- there's light in their eyes.

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  3. Oh Ken, my heart breaks for you. Praying for you buddy, hang in there.

    -Steve

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  4. Wondering if this isn't a good thing. You were drowning in the old mix and struggling. Being removed and relieved of some of the 24/7 stress, might give you a chance to balance and right yourself.

    Some call it "finding yourself", I prefer, "reviving oneself", as you were never lost, just smashed so flat that all of the pleasures of life were squished out. Some of the pressure removed, isn't a small part of feeling like its easier to breath?

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  5. Ken I'm so sorry to hear about your separation. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I love the pictures of Carter and Bennett. Hope you are doing OK.

    Kevin

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  6. I've thought about you all these years since reading your blogs. I hope you're okay.

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  7. Just want you to know, you still have a loyal following. Hope you are being kind to yourself.

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  8. Thanks Pam. I guess I do owe a post. So much has happened. In such a short amount of time...and how do I summarize it all? How do I possibly discuss it and do it fairly and also openly but respectfully? Wow, what a tough one this would be. But I do want to come back to this. I will...eventually.

    Thanks for checking in...

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