Posts

Showing posts from March, 2015

F*cking Sh*t!

Image
In addition to mastering a few new phrases, the identification of the letters A, D, C & D by looking at them and being able to ID a few emotions by picking out some photographs, major milestones for a kid with the issues my son Bennett has, he has also managed to add the words SHIT, FUCKER and BULLSHIT to his growing vocabulary.

Hallelujah.

Thanks God, for that one. Been fun.

He is a mere 7.5 years old, and I will pause for a moment while you ponder the fact that he is seven and is identifying A, B, C & D only...yeah, it's great and it sucks at the same time. But today? I'm gonna go with GREAT. I'm happy about it. Only 22 more letters to go. SHIT YEAH!!!

Oh, and  lest you think he picked up those naughty words from me. He did not. At least, I don't think he did. I know for sure where he got 2 of them. The other one? MAYBE he overheard me saying it, but the jury is still out on it. I don't swear in front of the kids as a general rule. I don't express a…

The High Cost of Freedom

Image
Bennett's behavior.

How many times in how many posts have I typed those two words together? How many times have I reported that the behaviors were on the upswing? That we were experiencing some great advances because of this new X or that new Y?

Not often to my recollection. But then again...I'm the glass half full of shit guy, remember?

Still I did go back and check. Despite the fact that this blog is so decimated by broken picture links and long gaps of nothingnesses, not to mention it really has an issue with finding a true direction (and audience, probably because of that direction and nothingness thing) Bennett's tendency to go from Banner to Hulk has been going on since a short time after his brain surgery.

Before that? He didn't have these problems.

Granted, he was having these fucking horrible seizures in the background of his head 24-7, and then when the seizures could not be contained anymore, his brain couldn't take it and he would suddenly start to jac…

Dragonslapper

Image
I have quite a few unfinished, unpublished blog posts. They are beginning to stack. Some are so old I probably can't even use the material inside anymore. I start more blog posts than you can imagine, but something always seems to come up that has to take precedence over finishing them. A few dozen written in the Drafts section of Outlook, incomplete. I don't know how many in Notes on the iPad. Exactly 21, though 20 after I finish this one, in the Blogger Drafts.

I type away, often hovering over the bright orange candy-like Publish button. Rather than press it and get the cookie, I favor the dull, grey Save button and go do...whatever it is people like me do.

People like me.

By this I mean people who battle things like Depression, PTSD or Anxiety. These...I don't know...I suppose you call them disorders, illnesses, I dunno WTF. It would be more proper to only speak about myself in a matter as...delicate as this one. For me? I call it a mental illness. What does that m…

The Conversation

Image
I'm a bad blogger. Let's not even go down The Road of talking about my shortcomings as Friend, Husband, Father, Companion, Entrepreneur, Artist, and on and on and on. I've been at the end of the line in every conceivable category in every conceivable way I can imagine, for a while now. I'm in one of those bad cycles.

If there is any silver lining at all, and you know me, glass half full (of something that TASTES LIKE DOOKY!!!) kinda guy I am, I loves me them silver liningses, then the silver lining here is that I am typing this. It's a start.

And a start, whether it be for long term or for short? It's something.

The other day...and it seems that I stand oft-accused, rightly or wrongly, of only sharing the murkier stuff when I blog, so here's a nugget that has more white meat than dark meat. Bennett is geared up, about to go to Jennifer's parents with her and Carter, and he is fully loaded except for no shoes. He is pacing the bedroom, anxious to get go…