Showing posts from May, 2011

Have a Nice Day

I've been trying really hard to get to Updateville for days. Something always seems to get in the way. A lot of work stuff, the medical stuff, then Jen took the kids out of town for the weekend.

I anticipated an update amidst a major basement overhaul, but she returned early with Bennett because she was feeling ill.

And now tonight? Bennett is just losing it. Inconsolable. Ironic that recently his new medication, Risperidol, hit the max dose a few days ago. This was supposed to curtail the massive behavioral outbursts. The biting, the hitting, the throwing of the food and shit.

That still happens because HE CAN'T FUCKING TALK. But at least the drug has him nice and miserably constipated with a bleeding butt it is so bad. Hey, we finally have something in common. Yay.

So he FEELS terrific. And occasionally he is less irritable, though I just don't know if that's Drug or Kid.

How would I know? HE CAN'T FUCKING TALK.

Bad mood? Yup.

It'll pass. Always does. And I'm …

It Ain't All Bad...

Lest ye think that it is.

Lately? Sure, it has had its ups and downs. And yeah, the blog tends to get focused a bit more on the downs. That's kind of natural.

The blog is almost like my electronic shrink. I purge a lot here. Aren't you lucky? So while there is inevitably SOME good in every single given day, sadly Blogzilly usually only gets to taste the turds that I often serve it.


I do SO owe it, and its readership, better than that, don'tcha think? I do. And I certainly owe it to myself. I owe it more things like catching Bennett falling asleep on the living room floor with his butt up in the air, a PRICELESS moment.

Is that not adorable as crap? OK...NOTE TO SELVES: Back to some more palatable subjects, less bitching.

You know it's funny, after I made that fog reference in the last post, I was sort of dwelling on that for awhile, wondering why I used it. I then come across a post by 'D' of Happy Being Trevy in a Yahoo Forum about Topamax. One of the big si…

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I get asked quite often a rather simple question.

'How ya doing?'

I never have a simple answer. Not if I want to answer honestly. I have to force myself to spit out a lie, something quick and painless. I generally choose the Hair Response.

'Fine', I reply. 'Just fine.'

Truthfully, some days are good. Some days are bad.

Most are just there.

Most days don't even take up any new space on my hard drive...since nothing new really happens. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. An endless cycle.

Irony not lost on someone who has no hair to wash.

Days become so much a mirror image of each other I wonder if they ever even happened at all.

Is it Monday? Thursday? Sunday? I can often forget what day it is living a life the way I have been lately. The only way I can describe how I feel sometimes is by likening it to walking through a forest that I am totally unfamiliar with. I hear voices, some familiar and some not, calling out to me, telling me to come here or t…

Want Your Day To Suck? Here Are 5 Ways To Get It Started

Yeah I'm in a foul mood. So sue me. You should smell my breath. It's even fouler. I had asked my wife a few days ago if she'd noticed and she'd said no. Then yesterday she said she did.


Just call me Godzilla. (Just make sure when you do that you are running down the street looking over your shoulder, willya?) Not only do I have some kind of alien parasite or something living in my throat, poofing out the size of my neck in all kinds of weird and unnatural ways, but I'm spewing my toxic breath all over the house.


Already it has not been a good morning and it isn't even nine thirty. I smell a very bad weekend coming on. Well, I smell a lot of things, as I mentioned before. You wanna have a shitty day too? Here's five things YOU can do to make damn sure that you can.

1. Spend a solid half an hour running back and forth from your computer to the kitchen sink gagging, trying to get something to come up out of the Gateway to Hell that has grown in yo…

Hawking a Loogie

loo-gie [lōōg'i] - noun
1. a lump of sputum (as in phelgm or mucus) coughed (or, onomatopoeically, 'hawked') up from the lungs and spat out.

It's ironic that the expression is 'Hawk a loogie!', since that is what many people think Stephen Hawking did recently to many a face in the spiritual community when he gave his opinions about the lack of the existence of a Heaven or a Supreme Being in the Universe in an interview for The Guardian in the UK.

In case you have no idea who Stephen Hawking is...essentially he is the closest thing this planet has to Reed Richards.

Oh. Wait a second. You probably have no idea who Reed Richards is, well...most of you don't. Instead, let me put it this way. It would not be difficult to put together an argument that Professor Hawking is the smartest human being on this planet.

And he certainly has earned the right to speak out about Faith.

I say that only because in our world, and I am speaking to each and every one of us specific…

I Might Officially Be Scared

You remember how I got blasted by...something...over the past couple of months?

At first, I thought it was Strep. Went in. Wasn't Strep. Came home. Seemed to clear up. Things got worse. Fever got whacked. Nearly 104 at one point, sustained over 103 for almost 24 hours, even ON heavy doses, nearly overdoses, of Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen.

Went back in to the doctor. Got swabbed. Positive Strep. Went out. Aunt E. Biotics. Started to clear. Something odd and a little horrific came out of my throat at one point. Something almost Fringe-ish. But I started to feel better and so I let it go.

Felt OK for a while.

Yesterday, started getting dizzy and light-headed whenever I would stand up. OK, what's that all about? Then I started feeling cold even though, again...if you know anything about me at all...I DON'T GET COLD.

But no fever. I checked. My ears and face were blood red though. They do that a lot. But since that has happened most of my life, I can't ever say that it is unu…

What a Long (Steve) Trip It's Been...and an iPad?

Well, not THAT long, and not THAT Steve (though a nice big chunk of it included the big lug), when you get right down to it. But I needed a title to sort of get the ball rolling, and that was the best I could come up with on short notice.

It started Monday with a plane ride to Baltimore, Maryland.

I always love going back there, to the place that I like to call 'home'. I got chills as I saw the Chesapeake Bay come into view outside the airplane window, and wished there was more time to actually do a little bit more in the way of visiting folks and places.

There wasn't.

This was a very quick in and out. I was there to visit with an old friend (not sure if he WANTS me discussing his bidness on here right now so I am leaving his part of the story respectfully anonymous) and the return part of the trip involved the transport of some boxes (LEGIT stuff...please, people...) from Maryland to Ohio. The aforementioned Steve was already there to help with the move and accompany me for…

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Feeling a little strange about this one.

I guess it's the whole 'situation' thing, the knowledge of what my Mom now faces, the challenges she must now be prepared for in her life. While it is not something that is IN YOUR FACE at the moment, it is never something that drifts very far from the fringes of my conscious thought.

That kind of thing affects your perception of things, especially things like Mother's Day. You tend to think more about the past, more about the future, less about the moment you are in. You find yourself in a very strange place mentally, one that, honestly, I can't really describe and do it any kind of real justice.

Maybe someday.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I hope to find myself wishing you this for many more years to come. I hope that whatever you are doing today is peaceful, fun and full of happiness.



When it Rains...

And you thought I was gonna start this off with ' Pours!' or something, didn't you? C'mon, admit it. It's OK. I almost did. But then I decided to wave off the catcher and go with the change-up.

Because around here, when it rains, IT FREAKING LEAKS.

And that's a problem. A big one. And one that we have to try to figure out how to solve without spending a fortune doing it.

Because like most situations in the past couple of years, we've had to bend over and take it up the poop chute on this one so a lot of the 'getting this solved' is up to us.

Some backstory.

Sometime this winter, I notice some water next to the front door. I wondered where in the world it was possibly coming from. Checked everywhere for the leak, could not find any evidence anywhere, and I scoured. I wiped everything up, and figured 'OK, since we live in one of these McMansion style dwellings with the Uber-Wasteful Super-Foyers with the Giant Window Wall and Open Greeting Area, …

There is Another...

My gut instinct is to start this blog with a very long rant about the huge contrast in how our daily life is right now. About how our family seems to be walking on the edge of a knife. About how difficult things really are. It's not surprising at all that this sickness with me is still lingering on, taking such a long time to heal.

The stress and the pressure that I feel are decimating my immune system.

But it can wait. I don't have the energy and frankly I don't know that I even have the words to explain all the various aspects of all the various things that are going wrong.

And truthfully? I don't even know that it is a single blog entry.

And besides, I do have another son that I have been promising devoting some blog time to, and I want to honor that promise. It's bad enough that he has to walk around the house literally in fear of being physically attacked by his younger brother, he also gets pushed aside in how much attention he receives because he is 'Typic…