Last Revised May 16, 2019
Another revision for another go of it on this blog. She may not stay afloat much longer. I applied for and was rejected to run any ads here by the big G, and I couldn’t figure out why. Of course, not posting here for over a year, and having no traffic, and having not resolved a ton of back end tech issues?
Nah...why would THAT matter?
I’ve never had an entire calendar year get skipped. It felt so...unnatural. Then again, I never had a calendar year quite like 2019. More on that some other time.
For purposes of this page let me say this.
This blog...what’s it about? Most blogs have direction, a centralized theme. Some...focus. Oddly, when I started this blog in 2009 that was the goal. As a part of the toy and collectibles industry, the blog was meant to grow into a full-fledged toy site. I’d been on it for a few weeks, figuring out where I wanted to take it, when my youngest son Bennett started having Infantile Spasms. Those are seizures, in case you don’t know. Evil. Brutal. Terrible. Seizures. They are a devastating type of early childhood epilepsy.
That was merely the tip of a gigantic multiple disability iceberg.
Ultimately, the blog started to change direction. I tried very hard NOT to allow that to happen. Clinging, desperately, to some ghostly reflection of my former self, I couldn’t maintain that ‘me’. I’d crossed over. From then on I was and forever remain a Special Needs Dad.
Eventually, as I processed my grief at the loss of a normal life, I learned how to meaningfully stray from that identity again...and it kept me going. After accepting that my career would essentially be over if Bennett was to stay in Ohio and receive some of the best care he could get I rediscovered interests and encountered brand new ones. I would write about them, write about my life, since the blog was truthfully about my journey, not my son’s. He just starred in it quite a lot.
Yet I believe the off-topic meandering (made worse by a blistering case of ADHD) puts many people off. People arrive in a new blog space, you wanna know exactly what you are in for. You don’t want to start learning about a young Autistic boy, then get interrupted by blogs about superheroes, Muppets, TV, action figures, poop and other wild ravings of an apparent lunatic.
Me? I like a nice steaming pile of potpourri. If it’s quality. I enjoy anthology shows, loved The Twilight Zone. Enjoy collections of essays about subjects that have ZERO relation to one another. Flipping through art collection books by various artists is extremely appealing to me. That’s not the norm...and, well, I’m not the norm, then.
So what is blogzilly 3.0? I don’t know. I’m making this up as I go. It starts with me, I'm writing it. I compared the 1st and 2nd incarnation to a pizza, and the same simile applies...this site has a little bit of everything on it when it comes to my life and the ups and downs of being a 50+ guy who has a typical teenage son and a severely disabled son. A man who yearns to be a productive part of the workforce but has found that re-entry or career change is not so simple after over a decade as a SAHD, being the main caregiver to a disabled person. A man who still loves to build LEGO, root for his sports teams and keep in touch with friends through social media, but can’t find the joy in life he used to by being married to a woman who doesn’t want him around anymore and reminds him of this on a continuing basis.
blogzilly 3…what will you be,
where will you go?
I do know this I see
I refuse to begin blogzilly 4.0
A poet and I din’t know it. But that is the truth. I’m way too into trilogies to allow a 4th installment to happen. This is the third and final act. Until I move it to Wordpress or somewhere else. Then...well, reboots are very ‘in’ these days, yes?
So that, my friends, is what this blog has been and what it may be. If that's the kind of thing you can jump on, and you like a lot of words…salty words… in today's quick-fix, fast food, Twitter-driven age, then this might be the place for you to drop in from time to time and feast.
If it isn't? I’m sure it’s me who is missing out.